No Business Like Shoebusiness
THE British are coming – and they’re wearing period costume and stripper’s shoes.
The Sun brings news of the Emmy’s, the “US telly ‘Oscars’”. It’s the AGM for the American TV industry.
And this is news because it’s a chance to see what Charlie’s Angels look like now (less lined and careworn then in their 70s heyday) and to applaud the best of British telly.
For we Brits, TV may be all dire soap operas (BBC), tatty celebrity vehicles (ITV) and American imports (Channel 4), but for American viewers it is something else. As we say, it’s people in period costume and cheap shoes.
So here’s Dame Helen Mirren collecting her Best Actress In a Mini Series or Movie gong for her performance in Elizabeth I.
America might make all the funniest comedies, the most entertaining soaps and the most innovative news shows, but when it comes to dressing in period costume and reliving history, we British rule the airwaves.
And here’s Dame Helen to accept her award. “My biggest triumph is not falling arse over tit,” says she. “If you saw the shoes I had on you’d understand.”
Good on her. Not only has Dame Helen not fallen over, but she’s scored a palpable hit by lacing her speech with a quintessentially British phrase. Aspiring British actors should note that Dame Helen said “arse” and not the Americanised “ass”. Bravo!
As for her shoes, they cost Helen $49.99 on Hollywood Boulevard and add an extra six inches to her legs.
Helen totters off, and it’s time for Jeremy Irons to collect his Best Supporting Actor in a Mini Series for his role as the Earl of Leicester in Elizabeth I.
The Mail looks on Jeremy (shoes unseen) says: “I don’t watch television – it destroys my reading time.” Bravo! While Helen has performed her role as game British gel with aplomb, Jeremy is the classic snotty British male.
If there was an award for Best Briton in an American Awards Ceremony, the top prize would be a closely run thing between Helen and Jeremy.
The contest would be televised live on ITV, feature prominently on the BBC’s nightly news bulletin and form a Channel 4 show in which celebrities tell us how they watched the show and what the result means for their new loft conversions…
Posted: 29th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
