George Bush Loos Talk

EVER wondered what newsreaders do when they’re not on screen? Apply more make-up? Sit motionless and unblinking as they wait for the autocue to jump back into life? Smoke a joint?

Well, wonder no more. The Guardian was watching CNN when news anchor Kyra Phillips went off air to make way for an address from President George Bush.

Bush was in a dry part of New Orleans delivering a speech to mark the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.

Kyra was in the toilet, talking about important news.

“We have got to give assurance to the citizens that if there’s a better natural disaster, we’ll respond in better fashion,” says Dubya, his words recorded for posterity in the Times.

“Assholes,” says Kyra from a room believed to be the CNN staff toilet. “Yeah, I’m very lucky in that regard with my husband. My husband is handsome and he is genuinely a loving, you know, no ego (unintelligible) you know what I’m saying. Just a really passionate, compassionate great, great human being. And they exist. They do exist. They’re hard to find. Yup. But they are out there."

We do not know who Kyra is speaking with. The hunt is surely underway for the mystery voice, who we call The Zipper.

While Bush appears on camera, Kyra and The Zipper continues to debate topical issues, like brothers.

Phillips: “Brother – of course, brothers have to be, you know, protective. Except for mine. I’ve got to be protective of him."

Woman: (unintelligible)

Phillips: "Yeah. He’s married, three kids, but his wife is just a control freak."

Unidentified woman 2: “Kyra."

Phillips: "Yeah, baby?"

Woman 2: “Your mike is on. Turn it off. It’s been on the air."

The incident, which CNN described as “audio difficulties” is good news for Mr Kyra Phillips, less good news for Kyra’s sister-in-law and brilliant for the President, who was not heard saying that as soon as he can find France on the map he’s going to bomb it…

Posted: 31st, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink