Anorak | Jamie Says

Jamie Says

by | 4th, September 2006

IT’S back to school.

After the thrills of summer, children are returning to the classroom. There they go, showing off their new Prada schoolbags packed with the latest electronic aids to learning.

They’re keen to display their fake bake tans and relive their tales of what they got up to as they holidayed at Heathrow Airport. See them as they skip from mum’s 4×4 to the school gates.

But what will they be learning? The Mail investigates. The paper says that “cookery is back on the school menu”. Children aged between 11 and 16 will be taught “how to plan and prepare affordable meals”.

Surprisingly, this does not involve getting children to ask their parents or guardians for a couple of quid for a takeaway kebab and covering it with just the right amount of curry sauce. This course involves heating up the kebab and warming the pita bread.

And such is the way of education, there will be a certificate. As a spokesman for the Department for Education and Skills tells the paper: “We want to see a resurgence in the art of cookery. When kids have completed the 24 lessons they will get a ‘Licence to Cook’ certificate.”

You can just see the little loves turning to each other. “The name’s Bond…Armani Bond. Licence to cook.” Armani then throws a frozen pizza at her

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Posted: 4th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink