Silent Killers

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. And if it can’t think any up, it looks at scientific research.

Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…

TUESDAY

“’Fivefold risk of a heart attack for snorer’” – So say some Swedish scientists. But don’t worry – you might be asleep when you’re time comes

“I was hit by Parkinson’s at eighteen” – TV presenter Michael Gibson speaks about his illness

“Are your arteries 40 years older than you?” – Depends how much cosmetic surgery you’ve had

WEDNESDAY

“Binge drinking booms in the affluent areas” – Rich people spend more on drink shocker!

THURSDAY

“FAMILIES CAN’T STOP DOCTORS TAKING ORGANS” – Front–page news

“Don’t fly off the handle if you want to keep the years at bay” – Getting angry make you age faster say researchers at Harvard School of Public Health

“The deadly downgrade – Deaths from drugs have soared since Labour eased the law against cannabis” – Labour party gets you onto hard drugs

“Round clock drinkers are hogging the ambulances” – 24-hour drinking keeps ambulances busy and crews on the ball

“WHY ARE WE ARGUING NOW?” – Because the Mail is making us angry?

FRIDAY

THE TERRIBLE PRICE I’M PAYING FOR TEENAGE SEX. Chlamydia is now such an epidemic that Boots is to sell home testing kits. Here one women revels how this ‘silent disease cost her the chance of motherhood – and destroyed her marriage” – Can a disease be noisy?

“Danger for motorists fuelled with fast food” – RAC warns that the fizz and fat served at service stations can make drivers feel “tired, hungry and unable to concentrate”

“Don’t be fed with fear. Worry over childhood food allergies causes needless panic, say doctors” – But what does the Mail think? Can you worry needlessly. It’s a worry

Posted: 4th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink