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Man Overboard

by | 15th, September 2006

JOAN Rivers once said that when Donatella Versace opens her mouth she doesn’t know whether to listen or throw her keys in it. It is indeed true that the sun can make skin leathery.

And mindful of that we are concerned to see a topless Valentino, that other Italian designer of renown, standing on the deck of his 49-metre yacht TM Blue One eyeing the Hello! camera pointed his way.

Happily, in the course of his trip aboard the vessel, sailing among the islands off the cost of Croatia with a selection of desirable shipmates (including five pug dogs), Valentino wears a blue denim shirt.

We see him in this shirt twice, although on the second occasion Val and his shirt are easily missed, blending in, as they do, with the white sofa with blue piping.

Indeed, if it were not for his orangey tan, Valentino could be mistaken for a scatter cushion.

There is more blue and white in the state room. And again in the bedroom. And on the veranda, “al fresco dining are”, or whatever the open air bit on boats is called. And the outside of the boat, the livery, is also blue and white.

But there is colour. And it comes in the form of Valentino’s wardrobe. For reasons unspecified, Valentino allows Hello! to open his wardrobe and record what it finds within.

But whatever the reason for it, we are all the wiser for the viewing.

A row of trousers, “impeccably displayed by colour and shade” sits below a rainbow row of shirts, moving from red to blue.

It’s as if Valentino has been playing Benetton, a game beloved by harassed mums, who, keen to get their children to tidy their clothes get them to act in the manner of an assistant of said shops. Everything is folded. All is neat. Order reigns.

The next cupboard reveals four rows of carefully arranged jumpers. And a rail full of “casual ensembles”. To be more specific, these are Valentino’s jeans, trousers and Comfi Slax.

Ensembles like the protective white Slax and pink shirt he wears for a picture.

The sun is up high in the sky, and Valentino is taking no chances…



Posted: 15th, September 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink