Beckham’s New Pout

DOES Victoria Beckham ever tire of wearing clothes?

One of the world’s foremost dressers is pictured on the Mirror’s Page 3 (“GLOSS SPICE”) wearing some of her trademark clothes.

The paper’s fashion editor is on hand to tell us more about Posh’s dedication to clothes and the wearing of. But on the point of introducing us to “trousers”, she is brought up short.

Victoria’s lips have caught the expert’s eye. Indeed, Victoria’s lips are so protruding they could take an eye out. They are also shiny, less painted with lipstick than plated.

Still, the Mirror is worried that anyone could miss these lips – if only – and uses an arrow to point to them. “RED LIPS,” says the text at the feather end of this arrow. “Pure crimson…and shiny as her shoes.” Yes, Posh has lips like patent leather.

Note the “shoes”. The red ones. Which – and now we’re getting the hang of this clothes thing – are located at the end of the “trousers”.

Which are, in turn, just below Posh’s thrusting chest, which seem intent on escaping the constraints of her “jacket”.

This is, as the Mail says, “Victoria and her quest to be big in America.” The paper commends to its readers attention Vicky’s “every-growing breasts”.

To help readers realise that Posh’s chest might be expanding, the paper produces old shots of her chest and places them alongside this latest outing. (As ever, the Posh chest is wrapped in clothes.)

It’s impossible not to think that Posh isn’t blooming. And the paper is right to say that this must lead to speculation that Vicky has had surgery to “enlarge her once negligible bust”.

Her aides deny this. And so does Vicky. The paper recalls her telling Michael Parkinson on his TV show: “I’m totally natural, except my nails and fake tan.”

And lipstick. And clothes…

Posted: 15th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink