Music To Watch The Crash Go By

THE good news is that a cheque for £250 is on its way to Richard Hammond.

TV outtake shows pay good money for videos of bloopers and burps, and it’s good to know that something positive can come of the Top Gear presenter’s accident.

Richard’s crash will slot in neatly between shots of grandma getting her wig caught in an electric saw and a drunk wedding guest falling hard and hilariously on his spine as he break dances to The Lady In Red.

And do not doubt that Richard’s crash will be shown on the magic box. As the Star’s front page says – “SHOW MY CRASH ON TV” – it’s the injured party’s wish.

Indeed, keen news followers will hear echoes of another TV presenter’s tragic mishap. And we recall the Star’s headline in honour of Steve Irwin. It went: “Show my death on TV.”

Richard is not dead. But he still wants the world to see him almost achieve a death like state as he hurtles along at 300mph in a jet-propelled car.

And it’s hard to deny that we would want to see it. Hammond’s survival makes the crash palatable. And, in truth, who doesn’t watch any kind of car racing without wondering when the next spectacular cash will enliven things?

And what’s more, Richard will talk us through the crash. He’ll present from his hospital bed if it means the Top Gear show will be saved. The Star hears the man at the BBC says the new series of Top Gear will only be broadcast if Richard is well enough to appear on it.

It is a race against time. Can the medics get Richard well? Will the grapes work? Can the Sugababes get to his bedside in time?

Yes, as the Sun reports, the three-girl act has offered to sing to Richard at his bedside.

“If our singing can do any good we’re happy to perform,” says the band’s Keisha. Bandmate Heidi hopes Richard’s two daughters can convince him it’s a good idea. And girl number three Amelle says: “Richard is a cute bloke with a great smile.”

It’s a terrific offer, adding still more celebrity to what was already a star-studded almost fatal injury. An earful of Sugababes to make the medicine go down. And a neat soundtrack to watch that crash by.

Posted: 26th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink