Kate Moss’s White Stuff

WHAT’S that under Kate Moss’s nose?

It’s the questions everyone is asking, including the Sun, which wonders: “What’s got up Kate’s nose?”

To aid readers not trained in the finer points of nostril identification, the Sun shows a picture of Kate and uses a black arrow to lead the uncertain to her nose, and then up it.

And looking on, the Sun tells us that while watching her lover, Pete Doherty, perform, Kate sported a smattering of “mystery white blobs up her nose”.

And the questions begin. What is it? The Sun hears “fans” suggest that it could be “talc”, “zitcream” or “toothpaste”.

Whatever it is, it is not cocaine. As the Sun says: “Of course, there’s no suggestion that Kate, who went into rehab after being filmed hoovering up cocaine, took drugs at the gig.”

Indeed not. And we would like to add that we have not seen any footage of Kate hoovering so much as a small mat, much less a line of cocaine.

But, like cocaine, mud sticks. And the Star says “MOSS IS A MESS”. It says while at the gig in Ireland, Kate seemed “overwhelmed by the music, atmosphere and beer”.

She gave the show a “boozy karaoke feel” by joining Pete on stage, holding a microphone just below her nose. And was spotted by the Mirror, which hears a fan say that Kate looked “sensational – and she sounded great”.

That’s the same Kate who, according to the Express’ fan in the know, “certainly didn’t look like a supermodel”, what with her “blotchy” skin.

And with her cigarette, which was smoked in a flagrant breach of Ireland’s stiff anti-smoking laws. As the Express, says, this leaves them open to prosecution.

It might be an idea to destroy the evidence. And Kate can start by snorting the ash…

Posted: 27th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink