King Henry

THE Society for the Protection of Traditional Archery (SPOTA) has been conducting tests at the MoD Defence Academy.

On the day we learn that North Korea is firing ozone-depleting nuclear bombs, Britain is harking back to greener period of battle with a display of the longbow.

“Hopefully this research will help restore its tarnished reputation,” says Hilary Greenland of SPOTA.

And surely it will. As the Mail reports with no little pride (“Victory to the longbow”), these war games show that arrows fired by the big bow can travel at 100mph and strike with the “power of a sledgehammer”.

Just let those North Koreans try and attack us. Why, with a decent tail wind and a stout arm, they’d get no further than two–thirds of the way down Bournemouth pier (304.8m).

And then there’s the French. Had it not been for the longbow, Henry V would not have seen off the French at Agincourt and Britain could now be in thrall of croissants and Johnny Hallyday.

But not everyone agrees that being French is the height of undiluted evil. The Mirror says that one in five Brits wants to be French.

A survey by France magazine found that 20 per cent of us want to be French and 37 per cent want to retire there.

The magazine’s Nick Wall tells the Mirror: “Stars such as Thierry Henry have had a great influence on how we view the French.”

This is Henry the footballer, who lives in that part of France we British call London and whose team lost 1-0 to Scotland at the weekend.

Why anyone would want to live in such a place is beyond us. But not beyond the reach of our longbow…

Posted: 9th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink