Anorak

Anorak | Macca Attack

Macca Attack

by | 9th, October 2006

LOVE does not come with a manual.

When you meet someone they arrive in your life as a blank page. Sure, they will form a vital chapter in your autobiography to be serialised in the national press, but to begin with there is nothing but potential.

Unless, of course, you are dating Lady Heather Mills McCartney, in which case there is a manual, it’s called Die Freuden Der Liebe’, a German work known among sticky-fingered adolescents and tabloid hacks as Ich Liebe Dich.

Not that Ben Amigioni, Heather’s “hunky” fitness instructor, is dating the estranged Lady Mucca. Well, at least not according to 22-year-old Ben. As the Star reports, Ben has assured his dumped girlfriend, the “heartbroken” Joanne, that he and Heather share only a good working relationship.

But the Star says Ben’s been staying at Heather’s barn conversion. And the paper reports that Ben has just jetted off to Los Angeles with his employee.

And here’s a friend of Heather’s to tell us that Ben is the soon-to-be-divorcee’s “rock”.

Whatever the truth of it, the Mirror sees more pressing news in Macca v Mucca. Its front page screams: “BREAK-IN AT MACCA’S.”

The paper says two intruders have broken into Paul’s country estate in Peasmarsh, East Sussex, and filmed themselves walking up to the front door.

In “MACCA SHOCK”, we read that footage of this daring caper is now on the Internet. And that Paul is “livid”. And, perchance, fearful.

The Mirror harks back to how fellow ex-Beatle George Harrison was once stabbed in his Oxfordshire home and that John Lennon was shot dead close to his apartment in New York.

It’s chilling stuff. But Paul need not worry. The intruders are just American tourists. And Heather and Ben are thousands of miles away…



Posted: 9th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink