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Falling Flat

by | 26th, October 2006

“PETER Foster seized in Fiji in his trunks,” announces the Telegraph.

This is Peter Foster, the man the Times says was “barred from Britain over the ‘Cheriegate affair”. The Peter Foster who dated lifestyle guru Carole Caplin. The Peter Foster who dated Page 3 stunna Samantha Fox.

However you know Foster, the news is that he has been on the run in Fiji. As the Times reports, for the past 18 days, Fiji has been “gripped” by the hunt for the man known locally as yami-yami leu – the Big Tongue Man.

Whether this nickname is used in praise or insult, we are not told. All we know is that Foster got the name after islanders learned how he “smooth-talked” his way into the financial affairs of Tony Blair.

Anyhow, Mr Big Tongue was on the run in Fiji.

Time now for the Guardian’s potted history of the life and times of the convicted conman: “In 1983, Foster was fined £75,000 by an Australian court after trying to defraud an insurance company of £40,000.

“In 1988, his company was fined in Britain for breaching the Trade Descriptions Act. He then served a four-month jail term in Los Angeles for conspiracy to commit theft. In 1994 he was jailed for two years at Liverpool for a slimming scam.”

Now in a new country, Foster planned to develop a luxury resort. “It’s all beachfront – the size of Bondi Beach, only far more beautiful,” the Times hears Foster brag. Perhaps Cherie Blair would be buying a flat on the complex? Perhaps she’d buy two.

But Foster was not the only one dreaming of a beachside apartment complex. New Zealand barrister Even Williams wanted the land. So, as the report goes, Foster set out to discredit him.

The allegation is that Foster and four associates set out to portray Williams as man intending to make the resort a “heavenly haven for homosexuals”. There would be “boys as young as you want them to be” for sexual encounters.

It is reported that Foster’s claims were posted on the internet.

As the Independent reports, police issued an arrest warrant. Fiji’s immigration department terminated his work permit.

Foster went on the run. And he ran. He ran like Jeffrey Archer at the Olympics. He ran until he came to a bridge. It’s the Navua Bridge, on the outskirts of the capital Suva.

Foster jumps in. Fijian TV cameras roll. Foster swims. A boat gives chase. The Times says a propeller may have struck him. Foster is hauled from the water.

Foster is now under police guard in Suva’s Colonial War Memorial Hospital. He may still be in his trunk. Or is it his underpants.

The ones chosen for him by Carole Caplin…



Posted: 26th, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink