Hasselhoff Dries Out

WHEN you spend all day in the water it stands to reason that you are going to drink a lot.

Such are the risks of being David Hasselhoff, the world’s foremost lifeguard. And know that the more sea water you drink the thirstier you get. Drinking sea water can lead to dehydration and, ultimately, seizures, unconsciousness, and brain damage.

It might also lead to incontinence and an overwhelming desire to wear leather trousers and sing in German. Research is ongoing.

As such, we fear a little for David Hasselhoff, who, as the Enquirer reports, is no longer in hospital.

A source tells the Enquirer that The Hoff was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center on October 9. And on October 12, he checked himself out.

“David’s a mess,” says the source. “He’s been drinking steadily for months. The idea was to get him healthy enough for a full 30-day rehab programme, but after three days in the hospital, he signed himself out.”

And: “Now he’s back on the streets.”

Hasselhoff’s spokesman, Judy Katz, denies that her client ever checked into the Cedars-Sinai. And, yes, this is the same Katz who, back in the summer, said Hoff had been turned away from a British Airways flight out of London because he was ill. He had not been drinking – the medication he’d been prescribed following a “shaving accident” had affected him adversely.

So Hasselhoff’s nor been to hospital. And he’s not on the streets.

And it is out guess that Dave is right now all at sea, risking life, limb and liver as he dives in and out of the surf, laughing in the face of danger and swallowing a mouthful of sea water…

Posted: 30th, October 2006 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink