Stomach For Jade

“JADE’S HOSPITAL ORDEAL,” announces the Sun’s front page.

It’s Jade Goody. She’s on the cover of the Sun. And she’s on morphine.

Instantly our minds whirl. Realising the part played by Kate Moss in the undoing of Colombia, we worry that Jade’s links to morphine will glamourise the drug.

If so, it cannot be too long before Afghanistan – where much of the world’s opium and its derivative are produced for cattle feed, hats and matting – is embroiled in war.

That for later. For now, the pain is all Jade’s. The Sun (Jade’s on morphine and she’s terrified”) says that the Big Brother star has collapsed with stomach pains.

A bad kebab? Or something less life threatening? We cannot be sure. And, as the Sun says, Jade is waiting on the results of a barrage of tests.

“Brave” Jade is hoping for good news. As a friend says: “Jade is absolutely terrified and the family are on tenterhooks. We’re all praying it isn’t serious.”

It’s finger crossed for brave/terrified Jade, who has passed the time reading up on the effects of bowel cancer.

But she should be fine. Jade’s lover, one Jack Tweedy, tells the paper: “She’s in there with a stomach complaint. But she will be fine…There is nothing to worry about.”

But we are worried. It’s is for no small thing that Jade ends up in hospital and cancels an appearance on a Weakest Link special.

So the Sun wants its readers to email their best wishes to Jade. The paper will pass them on to her and print the best ones.

And we support the campaign. So send in your good wishes for Jade to editor@anorak.co.uk and we’ll publish the best ones.

A kebab with extra curry sauce for the winners. Two kebabs with extra curry sauce for the losers…

Posted: 3rd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink