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A Free Kevin Federline With Every Album

by | 10th, November 2006

“LADIES – you know I’m a free man,” says Kevin Federline to the people of Chicago.

But even free, there are not all that many takers. As the Star reports, in a bid to bring his musical message to the masses, K-Ferret dished our free ticket to see him perform.

According to the Star, K-Ferret’s performance at the city’s 1,600-seat House of Blues venue attracted just 250 punters prepared to spend the £25 asking price. (How many paying punters were not journalists is not said, but the figure may be as high as one or two.)

To date, the Sun says K-Ferret’s album Playing With Fire has sold just 6,000 copies. To shine some perspective on this, Roland Rat’s seminal tune Rat Rap, a song believed by some to have inspired K-Ferret scurry into the musical arts, sold in the tens of thousands.

And while the no-hit wonder was knocking back whiskey from a bottle and offering himself for free to any takers, the Star sees K-Ferret’s estranged wife out and about in New York.

It’s “bubbly” Britney Spears, the “giggling singer” ready to bounce back from her sad marriage to the verminous F-Ferret.

She’s got it all has Britney. Although the Sun says K-Ferret wants £16million and full custody of the children in any settlement.

We are not overly versed in the ways of the American judiciary, or knowledge of divorce proceedings based on exposure to Dallas and Dynasty, but do believe K-Ferret has as much chance of winning his appeal as he does of having a No. 1 hit.

Although on second thoughts, Christmas is approaching and novelty tracks can do unseemly well…



Posted: 10th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink