Gran Theft

STOP thief!

They went that way. What did they look like? Well, one of them was wearing a plastic hood. The other one had blue hair.

The Mirror’s front page carries CCTV footage of the suspected felons. “ARTFUL CODGERS,” says the headline. “Caught on CCTV: Grannies wanted for nicking a wallet.”

Do you know the two women suspected of stealing from a 20-year-old Malaysian woman’s handbag at Sunderland Central Station? Cash, the woman’s student ID and a driving licence were taken.

PC Gavin Alcorn of the British Transport Police says: “We would like to speak to these ladies regarding the incident… It is a very unusual case but I don’t think it is the start of a campaign by older members of the public.”

Although the Mail does recall the recent case of the elderly gent seen at the Royal Hospital in London, home to the Chelsea Pensioners. He nicked the poppy day collection box. He later repeated the trick at the Homebase DIY store in Brentford. Police are looking for an elderly man in glasses.

It seems that PC Alcorn might be wrong. What better disguise than the beige of old age. What Chairman Mao did with pyjamas, nature accomplishes with grey hair, stooped back and wrinkles.

The Sun (“OLD BLAGS”) produces a “Wanted” poster. The suspects are described as “old, grey hair, warm coats, comfy shoes. Last seen making slow getaway. May be carrying walking sticks.”

“Do you know these grannies?” asks the Mirror. If you do it wants you to call the paper’s news desk. The Star also wants to know who they are. “IT’S GRAN LARCENY.” No travel blanket will be left unturned.

And we join the call. Anyone approached by two aged women called themselves Lillian B Ting should take a firm hold on their dentures and contact the authorities…

Posted: 16th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink