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Tom Cruise’s Guests Of Honour

by | 23rd, November 2006

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes – we were there

LAST week OK! invited us to the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

It was unspecified whether or not we should rip the invitation out or take the entire magazine to the do.

Dress code was, again, unspecified. So we played it safe and dressed in a platform shoes, with an adult dummy pushed between out lips and a pointy hat on our heads. And we, like thousands of other OK! readers, arrived in Italy.

There was great excitement as Katie appeared at the window of the black-out van making serene progress to Odescalchi Castle.

As OK! says: “When Katie emerged, she looked simply radiant, and those around her gasped in awe as she shimmered in the early afternoon light.”

Stood in the refreshingly chilly air within waving distance of the castle battlements we too shimmied, or shivered if you will.

Here was Katie dressed in a navy blue dress and boots, clutching her daughter Suri to her chest. The crowd gasped. And then an unearthly silence fell upon the throng before Katie appeared at a window in the castle, “looking a little anxious”.

And then she was gone, off to “set about getting ready for her most exciting moment” – she was having her hair and make-up done.

We could wait. And the results were worth the effort. OK! notes that it wasn’t only Katie’s jewels that sparkled – “Katie’s bright, dazzling smile and twinkling brown eyes were almost bright enough to light up the hallway of thee castle.”

And as Katie’s eyes glowed in the dark the guests arrived: Victoria Beckham with a flying saucer-style hat perched on her head; Jennifer Lopez’s and her ghoulish husband Marc Anthony; Peter Gabriel and his pet goatee beard.

And so to the wedding. The couple agreed to “keep each other content, though life can be filled with fret and pain”. The Scientology Minister warned Katie that “life is stark and often somewhat grim.” Tom then gives her a white gold Cartier diamond ring.

The grown gasped. The bride and groom inhaled smartly and locked lips for a three-minute kiss.

Outside, clutching our prized invitations, we could feel the love. And smell the post-wedding meal of artichokes, beefsteaks, ham and a five-tiered white chocolate wedding cake “decorated with marzipan roses and studded with chocolate chips”.

Forming ourselves into a human pyramid, our pinnacle reached to take hold of one of the going-home presents on offer, a bag containing his and hers monogrammed Armani towels and designer sunglasses.

But it was too far a gap to breach. But the darkening mood was split by a firework display. The sky lit up. And the guests assembled outside the castle walls could almost make out the bride and groom silhouetted against the night sky…



Posted: 23rd, November 2006 | In: Reviews Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink