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Beckham – The Gay Sweeper

by | 4th, December 2006

IS England cricket captain Andrew Flintoff the new David Beckham?

The Mail lines up the former captain of the England football team alongside Flintoff. It notes the shared penchant for tattoos – Becks has a huge cross and his wife’s name in Hindi (misspelled); Flintoff has three big lions on the top of one arm.

And the paper looks at the children. There’s Brooklyn Beckham sat on his mother’s bony lap, looking on as dad leads England on to the pitch. And there’s young Corey Flintoff with his mum Rachel. Both sons are wearing replica sports kits.

And here’s Becks wearing a frilly blue apron and nothing else. He’s having a kickabout while cleaning. And here’s another one of Becks holding a mop, wearing a cloth utility belt that holds a duster and furniture polish. And here’s another of Becks dusting the mirror with his England top. Dressed in a spotty apron, he looks back over his shoulder in cheeky fashion.

“BECKS FURY OVER NAKED GAY PHOTOS,” screams the Star’s front-page headline. “Football hero David Beckham has been rocked by nude calendar shots being sold on a gay website.”

We have long viewed Becks as a cross-over footballer, the metrosexual in the sarong and shinpads. We have conjured visions of him dressed in his wife’s knickers – knickers, it must be said, far smaller than the national average and so flattering to even the most image-conscious player.

But to be pictured wearing only in an apron and a smile… How did this happen? The Star says it is a look-alike, a Becks double. But is it?

Look again, dear reader. Note the glint of steely determination in this sweeper Beckham’s eye as he gives the kitchen floor a once over.

And pay special interest to the tattoos…



Posted: 4th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink