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(White) Trashing Jade

by | 11th, January 2007

Trashing Celebrity Big Brother

GOODBYE Jackiey.

You came to pick up your daughter from a friend’s house party, embarrassed her and left. Many parents have done it.

But why did Jackiey leave so early, and before the booze had been delivered?

Big Brother sat Jackiey in the Diary Room on that gold wing-backed throne and told her about the dilemma it had provoked. “What’s a dimmela?” asked Jackiey.

Eat your heart out, Carole Malone, who speaks as if juggling her teeth with the tongue, lips and tonsils. Carole may be a tabloid journalist, but Jackiey asks the questions that matter.

Like mother, like daughter. Jackiey showed signs of being like Jade when she was first in the Big Brother house – unabashed to ask questions.

Remember these? Jade: “Where’s East Angular [sic] though? I thought that was abroad”; “The Union Jack is for all of us, but the St George is just for London, isn’t it?”; and “Do they speak Portuganese in Portugal? I thought Portugal was in Spain.”

Much of Jade’s ignorance stems from a lack of geographic awareness, a problem made more acute by her being in the Big Brother house.

Outside the house, Jade is Big Brother’s Jade, a likeable, bundle of man-beating brawn. Inside the house, she is a celebrity, no different to Danielle Lloyd and ‘Preparation’ H From Steps.

Jade cannot help but be more self-aware than when she was last in the Big Brother compound. Time has moved on.

But in spite of the glances to camera and her habit of striking a pose, she can still ask the questions. This was Jade’s exchange with Jermaine Jackson.

Jade: “You’re actually black aren’t you?”
Jermaine: Nods
Jade: ‘Cos lookin’ at you, like, you’re dark, like your brothers.
Jermaine: Worried
Jade: But looking at Michael, he’s gone white actually, ain’t he?”

Jermaine may whisper the words “white trash” in conversation with Shilpa’s hair, but it is a phrase that risks embracing his own brother Michael – he of the milky complexion, delapidated ranch and children from a broken home called Paris and Prince.

This is a game. And Jade’s a player. A tictactical one…



Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink