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Anorak | Keep Britain Tidy

Keep Britain Tidy

by | 24th, January 2007

keep-britain-tidy.jpgPSST! Anyone want a dolphin?

If you go down to Branscombe beach, Devon, you may just arrive in time to get your hands on one.

The Mirror has a picture of the creature, its beak open in a rictus grin. Dolphins even look fun when they’ve been killed by oil leaking from a boat, in this instance the MSC Napoli, which lies stricken off the Devon coast.

And if dolphin is not your thing, there is more. With the flotsam and jetsam from the grounded ship being washed onto the beach, a massive clean-up operation has begun.

The Mail (“And still the scavengers come”) looks on as three men each clean up a huge barrel of wine. A man and woman load goods, believed to be car parts, onto a wheelbarrow and selflessly pull it over the stone and shingle.

A gang of five men, one of whom is wearing a hoodie, hold aloft a number of items incongruous to their setting. “Look what we got,” says the Mail’s caption. “This group of youths celebrated finding some washed–up car steering wheels.”

Over in the Star, more men, more women, more friends of the environment clean up. And the Star is inspired. It dispatches Ross Kaniuk to the scene.

Amazingly, Ross manages to lay his hands on a £6,000 BMW 650 GX motorbike. Incredible stuff. With all these gangs at work, it truly is impressive how Ross managed to score something so big and valuable. “Starman” by name, star man by nature.

But that is not all. Ross also finds 27 odd shoes. He finds “Arabic nappies”, rolls of wool, smashed wing mirrors and broken toys”.

“I’m due to become a dad soon,” says Ross by way of a background story, “so the nappies would be useful.”

And if Ross has a garden, Colin Standerwick, another of nature’s friends, points to an empty French oak barrel and advises: “Just cut it in half and it will make two nice flower pots.” This is recycling in action.

Ross walks past a tractor, a stack of windscreens, a pile of anti-ageing cream, pet food and a car gear box. Hands up if you know how he moves the heavy car part? In the tractor? No. In the dolphin? No. In that versatile barrel. Recycling. The possibilities are endless.



Posted: 24th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink