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Less Than Zero

by | 26th, January 2007

less-than-zero.jpgMODERN nursery rhymes: Jake Sprat would eat only fat; his sister Armani would only eat on the third Tuesday of the month.

More news on food as the Mail looks to London Fashion Week and sees the “size zero freak show”.

The paper says the British Fashion Council has been “under pressure” to end the use of skinny models. But not under that much presser as the Council’s chairman, M&S leader Stuart Rose, says regulating a model’s size is “neither desirable nor enforceable”.

“YOU HYPOCRITES!” screams the Mail. This is “all part of a sickening self-interested fashion conspiracy”.

Cynics might argue that fashion is all a sham. And there is a strong argument for showing outfits off on skinny models, those androgynous mobile hangers.

Would the Mail rather designers employed the fat and obese to show off clothes? Might this encourage fatness? Or are models to comply to the paper’s ideal size a, weight and head circumference?

We ask as the Mail tells us: “Our children at the most junk in Europe.”

The figures are in and news is that our 10 to 13-year-olds consume an average of £128.40 of confectionary a year. This works out to 1,167 two-finger KitKat bars or almost 400 Cadbury Cream Eggs.

And to wash that lot down, Britain’s children are drinking £149 worth of fizzy drinks each. The Mail says this is the equivalent of 677 litres or seven and a half bathfuls of supermarket cola.

And the effect of so much sugar is not only to make the youth sweet but to make them fat. “Fizzy drinks and treat fuel obesity,” says the Star.

And the roly-poly Bunters, Brownings and Goodys spend double the amount on sweets and pop as the Germans. In Spain, the figure is £45 a head and in Italy just £31.

We are number 1! How envious those Mediterranean children must be. “In Blighty they have baths filled with cola,” they tell their mamas. “In the UK they have Dime bars, Toffee Crisps and gum balls as big as the moon. We have Kinder Eggs and Toblerone.”

Of course, on the upside, the universally slim foreign youth have access to cheaper booze and cigarettes.

Which may, all things considered and being equal etcetera, be better…



Posted: 26th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink