Big Brother’s Jade, Danielle & Shilpa Confess
“DANIELLE DUMPED – Distraught over love-split from boyfriend Teddy.”
“SHILPA DELIGHTED – Ready to meet the Queen and Prime Minister.”
“JADE DESTROYED – Jack’s flirting with Danielle sends her to rehab.”
So goes the front page of OK!, the magazine that sticks with Big Brother like chicken curry sticks to Jade Goody’s fingers.
This is “BIG BROTHER’S DANIELLE, SHILPA AND JADE”. The three are reunited once more.
There are interviews. There are pictures. The first of which is a shot of Danielle and former SS Club Seven signer Jo O’Meara in a group hug.
In OK!, there will be no bigotry, racism and class warfare. The OK! world is shiny. The celebrities, whatever their hue and creed, are uniform in their ambition to be loved.
So will you forgive them? Danielle says her “life is in pieces”. She says Shilpa is “a fantastic and beautiful lady”.
Danielle says the Shettys have invited her to India. They may have said something like “You should go to the slums of Calcutta and live in the gutter with the hogs”, but an invitation is an invitation.
Says Danielle: “It says a lot about the wonderful person Shilpa is that the family could even look me in the eye. They told me I was welcome any time. So hopefully I’ll be able to take them up on their offer soon.”
We in the UK join Danielle in that hope. And while Danielle and Jade makes ready to crawl to India on her hands and knees and show the locals that not all the British are hippies, backpackers and gap year students, the Wag is distraught.
Dannielle, the wannabe Wag – footballer boyfriend Teddy Sheringham is reported to have dumped her – says she “did not agree to be the victim of hatred on the show because of their editing”.
And while we look to see how the words “go home” and “she wants to be white” were spliced together in the editing suite, a friend talks of Danielle’s heartbreak.
Had only it been different and Danielle not fallen in with Jade, she could still be with her footballer and, who knows, perhaps starring on Wags boutique.
And then it is back to Jade. Poor Jade. Jade is worried sick that Jack has been flirting with Danielle. We could argue that they deserve each other. But Jade is depressed. “I love him,” says Jade, “but I was driving myself mad watching him the house. I couldn’t stop watching the live streaming.” Cheer up, Jade. To remind her of happier times, OK! produces a picture of Jade and Jack hugging each other.
Jade, who reminds us that she was bullied. Jade, who cries on the telly, allowing us to relive the tears again and again and again. Jade who is “insecure”.
There are even tears from Jo. She’s sorry. So sorry. Very sorry. She cries. Jodie Marsh, the orangey glamour model, tells us that she spoke with Jo. “Jo said that she didn’t want to be in the house with Jade because she was scared of her…We always said she was a bully.”
And all the while, Shilpa. Always Shilpa. Demure and graceful. She poses in a sparkly gown by a Rolls Royce. She glows. She touches a hand to her chest.
She has the last laugh.
Posted: 7th, February 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
