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Anorak | Kevin Federline Saves Britney Justin Time

Kevin Federline Saves Britney Justin Time

by | 1st, March 2007

britneybagfin_1.jpg“BRITNEY SUICIDE WATCH.”

And you can keep a vigil at Britney Spears’ door over a “6-PAGE SPECIAL REPORT” in the Enquirer. And you will not be alone. Because here comes Kevin Federline.

K-Ferret has reportedly told his friends: “I’m the only one who can save her – if they give me a chance to do it.”

They are Britney’s parents, her management company and just about anyone else who thinks that if Britney is on a “suicidal personal meltdown” the toxic vial of pills and booze is marked “K-Fed”.

The Enquirer hears from a source who maintains that K-Ferret wants to help Britney. Federline wants to move back into the marital home in Malibu for the next six months. This way “he can stop her wild partying and they can resolve their financial problems in their divorce agreement”.

You can hear the scriptwriters licking their pencil nibs and making notes already.

Britney: Who’s there? The light…it’s so dim. Why must the curtains be drawn always? Why do they stare?
Kevin: It’s me…Justin
Britney: Thank goodness. I thought…
Kevin: Hush! Just sign here and all the pain will be gone
Britney: Sing to me Kevin. Sing to me like you used to sing to me back when…
Kevin: You told me you loved me…
Britney: Why did you leave me… Cry me a river…
Kevin: Stick a knife in ma liver and a refer in my quiver I’m a mothaf*ckin’…
Britney: Nooooo! Help!!!!!

But that is the stuff of fancy. The reality is that K-Ferret wants to help. He cares.



Posted: 1st, March 2007 | In: Reviews Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink