The Apprentice - Alan Sugar’s New Marketing Staff

WHAT if the contestants on Celebrity Love Island never left?

Impossible, say you. Without them what would the Star do for news and who would appear on Channel 4’s 100 Best Reality TV rows? Hell, who would keep the rehab business afloat?

But just imagine if each year the new coterie of celebs were greeted on the island by last year’s batch? Every year, Big Brother just got bigger? That patch of I’m A Celebrity jungle expanded year on year. Pro-celebrity dancers never stopped moving to the music but formed an ever-lengthening Conga line?

And what would Alan Sugar do with the pushy, fame-hungry wannabes who appear on his The Apprentice show? Can he have more than one apprentice?

But Sugar need not worry. As the Telegraph reports, Tim Campbell, hired in 2005, is leaving Sugar’s company.

Campbell, a former London Transport manager, and therefore right to fear that he is unemployable in the greater world, was given a job in the health and beauty department of Sir Alan’s electronics firm Amstrad.

This not a joke. Sugar does not joke. We give little succour to the malicious rumour that Sugar invented a division in order to ensure his newest recruit was kept as far removed from the actual business of flogging discount electronics as possible.

Campbell was given the job on merit. And he stayed a while. But they don’t all last so long. As the paper notes, last year’s winner, the flirty, watery blonde Michelle Dewberry, lasted only a few months in the job. She left to set up her own eponymous consultancy.

Now Campbell is leaving. As the Telegraph tells us, he’s setting up a male grooming business and a social enterprise initiative to help entrepreneurs.

This leaves the way open for a new Apprentice. Says Sir Allan: “Last year I wasn’t particularly impressed with the calibre of candidates. I always have the problem of wondering if they are here for the right reasons.”

What the right reasons are is anyone’s guess - just as we can speculate on why Sugar would perform in such a show.

All we say is may the candidate who won’t stick it out win.

As reported by the Independent, the wannabes, never-will-bes and never-could-bes are:

“* Tre Azam, 27, from Loughton, Essex, a marketing and design consultant.

* Katie Hopkins, 31, from Exeter, a single mother-of-two and global brand consultant.

* Kristina Grimes, 36, from Harrogate, a pharmaceutical sales manager and a “ruthless single mother”.

* Rory Laing, 27, from Bristol, a waiter and bankrupt entrepreneur who employed ex-public school pupils including Kate Middleton for the Henley regatta.

* Lohit Kalburgi, 25, from London, a telecoms manager born in the United Arab Emirates.

* Adam Hosker, 27, from Lancashire, a car sales manager.Lives with wife and children in Blackburn.

* Natalie Wood, 29, from Upminster, Essex, represented England in swimming as a teenager. The mother-of-two has worked in the City.

* Paul Callaghan, 27, from Southampton, an ex-Army lieutenant who graduated from Sandhurst and spent six months serving in Basra.

* Jadine Johnson, 27, from Harrow, Middlesex, a financial adviser and single mother.

* Gerri Blackwood, 33, from Woking, Surrey, a transport development manager. Turned down a job at MI5 for The Apprentice.

* Dr Sophie Kain, 32, from Llanellen, Wales, a research scientist for aviation firm “who doesn’t suffer fools gladly”.

* Ifti Chaudri, 33, from Egham, Surrey, a company director of tile business. Applying to join the 2012 Olympic team.

* Andy Jackson, 36, from Leeds, a car sales manager now living in Kirriemuir in Scotland.

* Ghazal Asif, 23, from Glasgow, a business development manager. Speaks five languages.

* Naomi Lay, 26, from Cornwall, an advertising sales manager. Has run both the New York and London marathons.

* Simon Ambrose, 27, from Clapham, south London, a former investment banker, runs internet-based businesses.”

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, March 2007 | In: TV & Radio Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink