Double Take – Jennifer Aniston Is ‘SCARED’ Of A Brad Pitt Clone
JENNIFER Aniston is “SCARED”.
Can you guess why? The National Enquirer puts “SCARED” Jennifer on its front page. This is big news.
Is Jennifer scared because:
A) She scares easily. Ever since Brad Pitt left her she has not felt safe. Tall actor Vince Vaughn provided her with a buffer and was adept at holding an umbrella over Jen’s head lest “god’s tears” fall upon her hair, but he was never there at 3:30am when the gate creaked and the pipes groaned.
B) Jen is scared her hair will change, that she will wake up one day and find it be too far on the wavy side of straight and too straight side of wavy.
C) Jen Is Scared… “TO FALL IN LOVE WITH NEW MAN.”
The answer, naturally, is C.
This is the SHOUT ALL ABOUT IT reporting style. Read all about it: QUEEN ADDICTED TO COKE – Queen, a six-year-old Yorkshire terrier is addicted to Panda Cola.
So JEN is SCARED. And her new man is terrifying her because “he’s Brad’s best pal”. And “she fears the humiliation of people saying she’s trying to replace Brad with Sam.”
A source tells how Jen confide in her friend Courtney Cox. Says the insider: “Almost in tears, she told Courtney, everyone’s gonna say I’m only with him because he looks like Brad, that I’ve fallen for a clone of my ex-husband.’”
What odds on that, eh? What cosmic forces toy with the great and the good’s affections high in the Hollywood hills?
What chance that of the millions of men in the Los Angeles area alone, Jen should fall for one of her former husband’s pals?
The new fella is Sam Rockwell. He’s 38. Like Brad, he’s an actor. He is all set to appear beside Pitt in the impending Western, The Assassination of Jesse James. And – get this – the Enquirer says Rockwell landed this role, apparently, on Jen’s recommendation.
So many spooky coincidences we too are scared.
Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
