Fashion Crimes – LibDems Follow Ahmadinejad and Hindmarsh’s Lines
Official merchandise comes in a multitude of shapes, sizes and colours. And following on from those official President Ahmadinejad suits, the LibDems party brings its new official bag to market.
“Together WE CAN CUT CRIME,” announces the LibDem’s new crime-busting website.
“Enough is enough. Tough talk doesn’t tackle crime – we’ve learnt that from the last twenty years of Labour and Conservative failure. This campaign is about taking effective action to make our country safer,” thunder the LibDems.
There is talk of rising violent crime and rampant anti-social behaviour, a cesspit of lawbreaking leading to overflowing prisons.
But the LibDems have a plan to put a stop to it. It is time for direct action. It is time to take the message to the streets. It is time to equip yourself with an official LibDem bag.
First up though, we must sign the party’s online petition. Register your name, email address and mobile phone number to “I back the Liberal Democrats’.
But this may no be enough to stop crime. Phase two of the plan involves a brisk march across the computer keyboard to the shop.
(This is the LibDems long walks to justice you can all join in by sitting down at your PC and punching the keys like you mean it.)
No demo is complete with out a look. And this one consists of a bag bearing the no nonsense message “We can cut crime!”.
“Everything you need when you are on the go,” say the LibDems. “100% cotton with two extra long handles (30 cm) make for comfortable and easy carrying. Whether on your shoulders or simply in your hand, it’s high time you stopped using that plastic bag!”
Readers should note that an official LibDem house brick that turns your bag into a yet more effective weapon against crime is not included.
And then realise that the LibDems are tapping into a trend that has already been and passed. And we refer not to the Margaret Thatcher handbag assault.
The Anya Hindmarch “I’m not a plastic bag” bag has sold out, although more bags are coming. Fashionistas may also note that the Hindmarch original costs £5. The LibDem copy retails for £7.
But £2 and your fashion sense are small prices to pay in light of the bigger picture.
Buy the goods and go about the town and shopping precinct assured that if you are the victim of an aggravated robbery the villain is more than likely to let you keep your bag.
Perhaps the LibDems should produce matching wallets and cars?