
Faye Turney On Iran, Ahmadinejad, Knickers And Freedom
FRESH from an audience with President Ahmadinejad of Iran, Faye Turney looks out at Sun readers.
Pictured with an Ahmadinejad own brand headscarf in her hand, Turney strikes a defiant blow for Western fashion and British military might.
“I feared being raped by Iranians,” says one teaser. “Stripped to knickers in dingy cell.” And: “The truth behind our TV smiles.”
Sun readers have every right to be appalled. Granted, Turney was not raped and at no time molested in a sexual manner. And being stripped to her knickers would, perhaps, be more shocking if Turney had been stripped to her Y-fronts, but the point is made.
Turney takes that blue headscarf between thumb and forefinger. She dangles it towards the ground. He look is tight-lipped.
And she prepares to tell us about her “evil Iranian captors”. Faye is a “25-year-old “mum”. Sure, she is a mum trained to fight and armed with a loaded weapon, but that is not central to the narrative. In any case, Turney’s gun is British military issue and will very possibly melt in the heat as if made of chocolate.
A Dead And Alive Hole
Faye gathers herself. And she speaks.
“One morning, I heard the noise of wood sawing and nails being hammered near my cell. I couldn’t work out what it was. Then a woman came into my cell to measure me up from head to toe with a tape,” says Faye.
“She shouted the measurements to a man outside. I was convinced they were making my coffin.”
We don’t know if they were. And before the Sun can press Faye on this point, we hear more of those knickers.
Using military-style bullet pints, the Sun delivers a volley of outrage:
“Faye told The Sun how she was:
STRIPPED to her knickers — with the rest of her clothes and belongings taken away — and caged in a tiny freezing cell.
WARNED she might not see her three-year-old daughter Molly again and asked how she felt about “dying for her government
THREATENED with years in prison as a spy unless she did what her captors wanted.”
Faye was separated from her all-male colleagues. “I was thrown into a tiny little cell and ordered to strip off. They took everything from me apart from my knickers.”
The knickers. Always the knickers. A totem of happier times.
“Then some cotton pyjamas were thrown in for me to wear and four filthy blankets. The metal door slammed shut again,” says Faye.
Did she keep her knickers on? Were new knickers provided? And did the knickers clash with the black Islamic cape Faye was ordered to wear?
Question Time For Faye Turney
These are questions for the Sun’s Page 3 girls to grapple with. For now we go with Faye.
“A slimy-looking man whose tan leather shoes she will never forget” approaches Faye
Faye: Where are my friends? I want to see them.
Man in mini-cab driver shoes: What friends?
Faye: Mr Felix and Mr Chris (her officers Lieut Felix Carman and Captain Chris Air).
“He rubbed the top of my head and said with a smile”:
Ozcab 5: Oh no, they’ve gone home. Just you now.
Says Faye: “I was taken back to my cell again and that was my lowest moment. All I could think of was how completely alone I was. They could do anything now and nobody would know.”
Faye says she “lost it”. “She was even reduced to counting the 135 bricks in the walls, the 266 circles in the air vent and the 274½ squares in the ageing carpet,” says the Sun. (Yes, there was carpet in her cell. That all British prisoners should be so lucky.)
And then the questions came. Says Faye: “Every night, it was the same questions. Sometimes I’d have to go back two or three times. One session went on until 6am.” Faye knew what the time was. But Sun readers do not learn at what time her questioning session began. Readers can only imagine and fear the worst.
Spies Like US
What did she know? “I told them, ‘How do I know? I’m just the bloody boat driver’. I tried to play the dumb blonde.”
Faye said: “Two new guys in suits arrived. They didn’t shout like the others. One said he had come to make me an offer.
“If I confessed to being in Iranian waters and wrote letters to my family, the British people and the Iranian people, I’d be free within two weeks. If I didn’t, they’d put me on trial for espionage and I’d go to prison for ‘several years’. I had just an hour to think about it.
“If I did it, I feared everyone in Britain would hate me. But I knew it was my one chance of fulfilling a promise to Molly that I’d be home for her birthday on May 8.
“I decided to take that chance, and write in such a way that my unit and my family would know it wasn’t the real me.”
And the smiles for TV?
Says Faye: “We were only smiling in the TV pictures because we were relieved to see each other. We couldn’t help it. The Iranians knew this. That’s why they filmed us at that time. Then we were taken back to our cells — and were alone again.”
Freedom
And then freedom. Freedom to return to sons and daughters. Freedom to sell stories to the press. Freedom to be free.
Freedom to wear clean knickers when, where and how they want to!
Posted: 9th, April 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments





June 26th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
[...] Jun RETURN Faye Turney’s headscarf or it’s war: Iranian Revolutionary Guard forces have been spotted by British troops crossing the border into [...]
April 13th, 2007 at 9:30 am
[...] why Faye Turney took the Murdoch schilling and told the world about so much tears, torture and dirty knickers. This is no game. This is war, sort of. The article is ascribed to Andy McNab, “SAS hero and Sun [...]
April 11th, 2007 at 9:38 am
[...] can win one of those jackets President Ahmadinejad gave the hostages. All we need are Turney’s dirty knickers and we can relive the crisis at our leisure. But call 0901 4900 6161 and you too can capture the [...]
April 10th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Does Faye use Colgate or Pepsodent toothpaste.Your wonder where the Iranians went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent…..!
P.S Billy the Twitch…I want to read your story Billy about how the “birds” attacked you in Salford high street.Twenty knickerless nymphos who were “gagging for it” said Billy to the News of the World !
April 10th, 2007 at 10:28 am
[...] luck on Faye Turney that her account of so much knickers, cigarettes and tears in Iran should coincide with Coronation Street actor Craig Charles’s story [...]
April 10th, 2007 at 7:44 am
[...] has sold her story of tears and dirty knickers for, apparently, £80,000. Having volunteered to carry a gun and operate war machines for Queen and [...]
April 9th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
no one invited you, you chiken sailor!
April 9th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
hey…i wanna sell my story …of how i have been banned from Anorak & locked out of forums. is this new site run from teheran? is paul sorene a mad mullah….or simply….mad? freedom of my speech dont come cheep.
April 9th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Sweetie, we’re talking Tehran in April. Freezing cell? Don’t think so. It’s 73° there today……………………..and what was the point of the picture displayed alongside the
article of the American torture victim from Abu Grahib?
So they were all smiles because they were pleased to see each other…..ahhh…….
and telling us all how kind the Iranians were and how sorry they were that they
wandered into Iranian territorial waters, and stressing that the helicopter did not.
All that because they were pleased to see each other. It must have worn off pretty
fast, as they looked exceedingly grim when they landed in freezing Britain. No smiles
on show then. Unusual that. Normally hostages look delighted to be back in Blighty.
Unusual too that military personnel get to cash in on their experiences whilst still in the
service. Could it be that they would have told the truth…………
if they weren’t able to get paid to lie?
April 9th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
[...] livens up a slow news day by showing everyone her backside. You can see it here. In yer face, Faye Turney. Topsy [...]
April 9th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Prepare to repel all non-blondes!!! Dye! Dye!
Dye!
Join the debate:
http://www.anorak.co.uk/forums/
April 9th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Great to see the tabloids have really taken the sex equality message on board. Fifteen sailors, one woman amongst them, now who gets all the media attention … now let me think … still, she shouldn’t worry her pretty little head about that sort of thing.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
April 9th, 2007 at 11:00 am
[...] Lest we forget: One headscarf [...]
April 9th, 2007 at 9:43 am
[...] is Faye Turney. The [...]