Big Brother Jade Goody Wears A Wee Nappy On Her Face
“JADE‘S SICK WEE SECRET – Big Bro star’s face wiped clean with dirty nappies.”
Reports of Jade Good’s celebrity death have been greatly exaggerated and once more the bullying bigot is on the Star’s foremost page.
And news is that Jade’s complexion is as “smooth as a baby’s bum” thanks to her mum’s beauty regime.
When Jade was a tot, her Dennis Wise look-alike mum Jackiey was unable to afford “pricey” face creams”.
So “she buried her baby’s face in soaked nappies to keep her cheeks peachy”.
Says Jackiey: “Jade doesn’t like the idea of me telling people, but she’s got a nice complexion, hasn’t she? It’s because I used to put nappies on her face.”
We imagine at the time many passers by looking into the Goody pram or shopping trolley would have thought mum Jackiey had fallen into an easy trap. Lest it go unsaid, it is forgivable to confuse Jade’s ends, especially when what emerges from her orifices amounts to much the same thing.
But Jackiey says he had not erred. This was a deliberate ploy to make her Jade beautiful.
And it does not end there. What’s best for baby might not be best for mum. And Jackiey reveals her own adult beauty secret.
Says she: “I’ve been putting my own urine on my face since the age of 11. I get it really hot then put it on my face so it opens up the pores and sinks in.”
How Jackiey warms her skin tonic is not said and we do not rule out the use of hot curry sauce…
Posted: 12th, April 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
