Prince William Splits From Kate Middleton, Camilla Awaits
WHY has Prince William separated from his lover Kate Middelton?
The reasons are not yet clear. But rapprochement seems unlikely.
We advise the merchandise makers to cancel the commemorative wedding mugs, cups and teeth. Ye olde royale caterers should refreeze the crabsticks and the Queen Mother.
The Sun (“Wills and Kate Split”) hears an Army “pal” say that William has decided to dedicate himself to Army life.
As the paper notes, William is now a fully-fledged officer in the Blues and Royals. And he has thrown himself in Army life — “preferring to go out drinking with his colleagues than drive back to London to see Kate.”
Wills’ training is something we know about. Anorak has shone a light into the darker recesses of Bournemouth’s Elements night club.
We saw Wills with that leggy blonde Lisa Agar. “He invited her back to his barracks for a nightcap and she left at 4.15am when he said he had to go to bed,” says the Sun.
Although, through her tears, Kate may recall how Lisa told a different tale. Said Lisa: “He never asked me anything of the sort. I did go back with one of his Army pals called Rufus for a couple of drinks and then I went home, but that had nothing to do with William.”
We looked on as Wills extended the clammy hand of friendship to the bosom of Brazil. Ana Ferreira’s bosom. “He has big manly hands and certainly knows what to do with them,” trilled Ana. Demure Ana went on to parade her touched-by-greatness breasts in a lads’ mag.
And now we read that Wills has split from his one true love.
One “close friend of the couple” says: “As far as Kate is concerned, William simply hasn’t been paying her enough attention.
“She is stuck in London while he is living in an officer’s mess in Dorset. Kate feels hugely frustrated that their relationship just seems to be going backwards at a rate of knots.”
Poor Kate…
“At university they were living together. Now, nearly three years on, they are lucky if they see each other once a week. When he does get a night off, it appears to Kate that William would rather spend time drinking with his new-found Army pals.”
It is sad news, and cruelly disappointing for the media workers who have toiled to highlight Kate’s Princess Diana-like qualities.
Now the hunt is surely on for William’s next true love, the one who will capture his heart.
We are no matchmakers at the Anorak Bureau but have heard of a certain Camilla Al-Fayed.
Yes. Camilla. Yes. Fayed. Would this not be the perfect union?
Fate…
Posted: 14th, April 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (29) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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May 26th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
[...] Anorak - i am looking for celbrities to appear on a new cookery show on B.B.C. I would like to know if Kate would like to be eaten alive by two fat lesbian ladies? Kate Moss is doing the show so it will help kate to gain real celebrity royal status by continued [...]
May 19th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
[...] Anorak - i am looking for celbrities to appear on a new cookery show on B.B.C. I would like to know if Kate would like to be eaten alive by two fat lesbian ladies? Kate Moss is doing the show so it will help kate to gain real celebrity royal status by read more [...]
April 28th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
[...] Apr Prince William and Kate Middleton are no more. Their love for one another has died. You say toilet. I say lavatory. Let’s call the whole thing off. Wills is now “Freeeeeee”. Wills [...]
April 24th, 2007 at 6:25 am
[...] Week’s PicturesAnorak - It is sad news, and cruelly disappointing for the media workers who have toiled to douglas -dam (in tennessee).I love him and me and everett are happy he is a adult Hey Kate you are a beautiful bird and are best set free .a gilded cage is not [...]
April 24th, 2007 at 3:16 am
[...] Week’s PicturesAnorak - It is sad news, and cruelly disappointing for the media workers who have toiled to douglas -dam (in tennessee).I love him and me and everett are happy he is a adult Hey Kate you are a beautiful bird and are best set free .a gilded cage is not [...]
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:24 pm
[...] Week’s PicturesAnorak - Your mother should have warned you about banging Blue Blooded Tits. These tits like getting pissed,smoking weed ,spreading their seed, and showing off their greed. They can t help help acting like total tits it is in their blood they are a [...]
April 23rd, 2007 at 6:19 pm
[...] Week’s PicturesAnorak - Your mother should have warned you about banging Blue Blooded Tits. These tits like getting pissed,smoking weed ,spreading their seed, and showing off their greed. They can t help help acting like total tits it is in their blood they are a [...]
April 22nd, 2007 at 2:27 pm
[...] Anorak - i am looking for celbrities to appear on a new cookery show on B.B.C. I would like to know if Kate would like to be eaten alive by two fat lesbian ladies? Kate Moss is doing the show so it will help kate to gain real celebrity royal status by Full Story [...]
April 21st, 2007 at 3:57 pm
[...] Apr Prince William and Kate Middleton are no more. Their love for one another has died. You say toilet. I say lavatory. Let’s call the whole thing off. Wills is now “Freeeeeee”. Wills [...]
April 18th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
People wouldn’t think before choosing someone as their sweetheart…..what i feel mostly men try to exploite other sex…..having high positions…or having a lots of money with them…..
April 18th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
I am from Pakistan…….Punjab…….Rawalpindi…….
April 18th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
When i heard all this ….i got a shock when i saw Kate (A firey Beauty)……if would be there i will try to keep herself with me forever…………… i really felt her feelings…when i saw her………and from the depth of my heart i say…if i ever get the chancew to have her i will go for her and i will definitely keep her happy far more than William……..
April 18th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
It’s not Al Fayed…but it is a Camilla…Camilla Di Medici. Italian/Brazilian Aristocracy, and it was all he talked about when we went to school together at Eton.
April 16th, 2007 at 11:39 am
my dear Anon….thank you for your suggestion…..we will call you.
I would rather that you see me as more “digestive” ..than as you say…”suggestive”.
Could i make a suggestion anyway…????
………….
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
F8ck Off! Go Away!!!!!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
……………………………..
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
…by the way….you would not happen to be GAY?????/
Over & Out
RogerRoger@theb.b.c/cookit/co.uk
April 16th, 2007 at 11:23 am
hey Roger Roger…should that not read…”someone to cean the fat cookers”??
Just a suggestion my suggestive friend. good lick with the show….let me know when it comes out on B.B.C. 1….2…..&…3…..
are there any more……oh yes Channel4.
April 16th, 2007 at 8:57 am
oh fook-a-cook!!! late for work…..again…….nevr mind …the B.B.C. will never sack me…..I’m a lesbian…..for today anyway…who knows what will come my way tomorrow?….you never do really know …when you work for celebrity T.V.@the B.B.C…….every day …is stranger than reality.
Dear Kate……..i predict good things are coming your way…….just say yes to my Kate cookery recipe…and we’ll transform you into a tasy,epicureal celebrity.
Phone me…..
Over & Out
RogerRoger@theb.b.c./cookate/co.uk
P.S. Dear Kate ,you can bring your mum along to the cookery show…we need someone to clean the cookers. Tell her to bring her own rubber gloves….we are not I.T.V..we are far more choosy….we only give rubber gloves for free ..if you are a celebrity. ….
April 15th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
boo hoo….I could not stop crying my eyes out when I saw that Kate & Wills have split up……….not
really i pissed my pink panties when i saw this story…….all the d.b.’s…dumb bitches …that named their new babies …Kate….thinking they would be like..a Queen ..f8cking royalty…..now look like right royal tits…..
Hey d.b.’s…you can always tell your little princesses when they grow up….that you named them after Kate Moss….
at least my dad billy ain’t so silly….he named me Becky…after david Beckham….the most famous soccerball player in the Galaxy…and. salford-by-the Sea…….thats why they call me Becky……and I am a bitch….as you can see.
Luv Y …….not
B.B.
April 15th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Britain claims the Falklands and now judging by William’s hand its also claims a small part of Brazil…!
April 15th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Hey!!! hands off I.T.V………..we @theB.B.C. copyright all our lesbian cookery reality t.v. creativity.
So suck it! and see.
Hey girls…I.ve come up with a great new name for the recipe for roasting you two…..I shall call it…..Bi-Sexual Bar B Que Kate…….I will make you into epicureal epics girls..tasty bites of celebrity…trust me…or my name is not Roger Roger @ The B.B.C.
I will call the lesbians immediately to see if they agree with my Cooked Kate Recipe………………
April 15th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
oh…come on ladies….we at the b.b.c can see clearly…just how many of you have had a look at this royal reality……we all want to see William & Harry…carry on …up the monarchy. So why is no one posting their opinion so the boys can see we all care…..about Kate really.
April 15th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
I will pay you plenty…..the moneys not mine you see…it belongs to the people……..
………
……..
……….
……………@TheB.B.C.T.V.
……….
Roger & Out
R.R
April 15th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
ssshhhhhhhhhhhh..can i share a little secret with you? I am not really gay…but i have two very large lesbian production assistance working with me…..par for the course for both B.B.C. & I.T.V…..you may say…..but see this my way…if i dont say I’m gay …these grls are going to eat me.
So come on the Show …please Kate Moss & Kate Royalty……please don’t let me be eaten by lesbians ..just for the sake of reality T.V…….SAVE ME.
Yours Sincerely
Roger Roger
RogerTheGay@b.b.c/cookit/co.uk
April 15th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
So sorry…i meant no offence to the two large ladies….forgive me for being so unP.C.
I nearly forgot i was at the B.B.C.
I meant to say “two large lesbian ladies” we at the B.B.C. recognise that we are all a little GAY……It has always been that way. We are all artistes after all…..lardy ladies too. What would they do without us girls?
Now come on Kate dry your eyes….raise your head high with pride…..you are a princess…..now please say you will do the show….please Kate…just say OH YES!
Roger Roger
April 15th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
hey ….i’ve come up with another great idea for another epicureal episode of my new cookery show. We could cook both kates and feed them to the two large ladies…..It can be the shows first Bi-Sexual Recipe…Brilliant….wait till you see this on B.B.C. 3……i will my cooking history!!!!!!!
Roger Roger
April 15th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
i am looking for celbrities to appear on a new cookery show on B.B.C.
I would like to know if Kate would like to be eaten alive by two fat lesbian ladies? Kate Moss is doing the show so it will help kate to gain real celebrity royal status by appearing. I promise it will be all in the best possible taste….after all we are the B.B.C. and we take our cookery very seriously..Hey Kate you can trust me. Call me RogerRoger@b.b.c/cookit/co.uk
April 15th, 2007 at 7:26 am
ooops….a pair of tits popped out…..sorry
April 15th, 2007 at 7:25 am
hey Billy Boy…..I know when a mans got a twitch…. he has gotta drop the bitch.
Dont worry Kate…i will look after you in my Bird Sanctuary in Salford.
& will fill you up with my seed. of love,
Your mother should have warned you about banging Blue Blooded Tits.
These tits like getting pissed,smoking weed ,spreading their seed, and showing off their greed. They can’t help help acting like total tits…it is in their blood……they are a rare royal breed.
Hey Kate you are a beautiful bird and are best set free….a gilded cage is not for you…….leave that Billy the Tit that is Blue.
Seed You in Sunny Salford
Billy
April 15th, 2007 at 7:23 am
hey Billy Boy…..I know when a mans got a twitch…. he has gotta drop the bitch.
Dont worry Kate…i will look after you in my Bird Sanctuary in Salford.
& will fill you up with my seed. of love,
Your mother should have warned you about banging Blue Blooded Tits.
These tits like getting pissed,smoking weed ,spreading their seed, and showing off their greed. They can’t help help acting like total tits…it is in their blood……they are a rare royal breed.
Hey Kate you are a beautiful bird and are best set free….a gilded cage is not for you…….leave that for the Billy the Tit that is Blue.
Seed You in Sunny Salford
Billy
April 14th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
I met prince william once in 2003-2004.I have a little boy named everett carson cote.So i quess the spilt is great if he is in love with another woman.I volunteer for the uk child maintance-(only online).I ended up meeting with prince william at a douglas -dam (in tennessee).I love him and me and everett are happy he is a adult.You may email the email address up above if you have any questions.