Jailhouse Rocks For One Pensioner

INTEREST rates may be about to rise and homeowners may be struggling to keep themselves out of bankruptcy, but it’s not all bad news. According to one pensioner, there is a simple solution – go to prison.

The OAP in question is a certain Michael Sams who is serving four life sentences at Whitemoor prison in Cambridgeshire for the murder of teenage prostitute Julie Dart and the kidnapping of estate agent Stephanie Slater.

The 65-year-old, according to the Times, has written in a prison newspaper,. Says he: “How many pensioners in the community, who are totally dependent on the basic state pension and live in rented accommodation, are able to spend around £20 per week on luxuries? Have you ever seen an OAP inmate in tatty clothes or scruffy trainers? Not a hope! Materially, we OAPs in prison are far better off than those in the community.”

Mervyn Kohler, spokesman for Help The Aged, was forced to agree, up to a point. “In material terms, Mr Sams is probably absolutely right. But there’s one small shortfall here. Given the choice, I’d much rather be outside than inside.”

So there you have it. Struggling with your mortgage? Worried about mounting debts? Don’t get another loan or sell one of your children. Simply wear a hoodie and stick two fingers up to a CCTV camera. Or knock a policeman’s hat off his head. Or kill someone.

Then you’ll be fine.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, April 2007 | In: Money Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink