Anorak

Anorak | Kate Middleton’s Silence Speaks Volumes

Kate Middleton’s Silence Speaks Volumes

by | 24th, April 2007

middelton.jpgKATE Middleton is “brave”. She is “brave Kate”.

Brave Kate is on the cover of Hello!. Kate will tell us “what went wrong”, about “the Palace fall-out”, William’s throne rangers” and “what the future holds”.

Of course, what we really need to know is how to ask for the lavatory in the Palace and if the family thrones serve ornate commodes bestowed on the great and good through the generations.

This is he exclusive. This is the Hello! “EXCLUSIVE ANALYSIS”.

Happily, Kate is too busy getting on with her life after Willis to speak with Hello! just now and the magazine gamely steps into the breach and fills the gaps admirably.

“Few people will know what it cost Kate Middleton to return to London last week, braving packs of paparazzi [see photos] and the sympathetic stares of strangers.”

The price of fame is not advertised, nor is the petrol receipt from the Middleton Land Rover Freelander by which Kate made her journey to the capital.

Hello! does hear from Jennie Bond, I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here survivor and all-round Royal expert.

Will Kate now embark on a mission to cement her celebrity with a stint in the Australian jungles, or, perhaps a turn on Celebrity Big Brother?

Bond studies Middleton’s “commendably brave face” and how she has “resisted the temptation to hide away from the media.”

“She must have imagined living at Buckingham Palace,” says Bond, “traveling the world with her husband, and giving birth to a future monarch.”

Does any girl imagine giving birth to anything, let alone a regent in waiting? Surely a gel’s dreams are more rosy-hued than draped in surgical gown. Legs in Royal circles are in altogether different kind of stirrups to those found in the birthing room. But, then, Bond is in the know. This is her area.

And if Middleton wants to confirm this story and more, Kelvin Macenizie, the former Sun editor, is heard saying she can make upwards of £10million.

And Max Clifford, “PR guru”, tells us: “If she got involved with a major fashion house, in PR terms she would be worth a fortune to them.” And, crucially: “She wouldn’t have to say anything.”

Judging by this Hello! exclusive, Kate has taken Max’s advice to heart…



Posted: 24th, April 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink