Too Fat, Vanishing Sparrows, Mad Joints, London Gangs And Diabetes
EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.
And if it can’t think any up, it looks at the latest scientific research.
Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…
MONDAY
“TOO FAT FOR NHS SURGERY” – Risk of operating on obese people, higher, says “doctors”
“Post-natal depression hits 20pc of mothers” – Study by Royal College of Psychiatrists says 10 per cent; Royal College of Midwives says 27 per cent
“Why are so many woman getting MS” – Immigrants?
“Mobile phone masts blamed over the vanishing sparrows” – And the bees?
“HOW HEALTH ‘N’ SAFETY STOLE MY COUNTRY”. SUNCREAM FOR NIGHT-SHIFT WORKERS, HARD HATS ON DONKEY RIDES. AND EVEN A SAFETY GUIDE FOR THE SMALLEST ROOM. In the second part of his rumbustious series, Richard Littlejohn says you couldn’t invent the barmy diktats now blighting Britain” – Oh, go on Richard try. What about a spliff with every copy of the Mail, you know to help relieve the anxiety, or increase it…
TUESDAY
“Half a joint ‘can bring on symptoms of schizophrenia’” – So says Dr Deepak D’Souza of Yale University School of Medicine, both of him
“A helicopter hunts two boys on a pedalo. Villagers facing court for giving away sherry at a fair. In the third of his brilliant series, RICHARD LITTLEJOHN picks our PC police’s maddest moments” – It’s political madness gone mad
“Drug rationing will leave me blind and put my wife in care” – More tea, love?
“By blues made me cut my wrists” – Post-natal depression, a woman’s story
THE NUMBERS:
240,000 – the number of people thought to be suffering from ME in the UK
“Homeopathy is worse than witchcraft – and the NHS must stop paying for it” – HEADLINE OF THE WEEK
WEDNESDAY
“Migrants ‘who’ve grown used to violence are behind many of the 171 London gangs’” – Scotland Yard realises that poor people new to an area can turn to crime. They aren’t detectives for nothing
“Caesareans can raise risks for the next birth” – Says a study at Ottawa University
“Women giving birth in the corridor. Only two midwives for 24 mothers. Why radio and TV star Jeremy Vine, as a new father, is terrified by the crisis on our maternity ward” – A new dad finds a way to feel involved
THURSDAY
“Rise in diabetes ‘to hit fertility’” – Queen’s University of Belfast researchers find that those with Type 1 diabetes have twice as many defective sperm as those without the condition. But the defective sperm shouldn’t get through, what with them being defective…
“The black widow that is biting its way across Britain” – run don’t walk from the false black widow spider which has taken up residence in Dorset
“HOW COULD FATE BE SO CRUEL? When magazine boss Lindsay Nicholson lost her husband and daughter to cancer, she thought life had nothing more to throw at her. She rebuilt her career, found new love and raised another child. Then came a shattering blow” – Happy days
“Seven pints of beer ‘shrinks the brain’” – The Brain?
FRIDAY
“Sorry, my sister has mucked up her life, and if her only kidney fails I’m not going to donate one of mine to save her” – happy families
“The Internet generation struggles to make friends” – Says Save the Children
“One in 5 Britons has DNA that can double risk of a heart attack” – say researchers at Reykjavik biotechnology firm deCODE
Posted: 7th, May 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
