Never Give An Inch: Victory In EU As Metric Martyrs Win
“AT LAST, AN OUNCE OF SENSE,” announces the Mail’s front page.
But before we go, we spare a thought for Steve Thoburn, the Sunderland fruit and veg man whose campaigning against European beurocracy saw him labelled the “Metric Martyr”.
Steve died in 2004. The British Weights and Measures Association (BWMA), which campaigns against compulsory metric conversion, continued the fight.
Why should the fact that Napoleon had ten fingers mean we Britishers are forced to convene in dark spaces to talk in pounds and ounces, seeking to preserve the language of the small trader?
The campaign went on. And now the Mail brings new of victory. “Britain is to keep its pounds and ounces.”
A nation rejoices. This is Victory in EU day. Happy shoppers deprived of their quarter of humbugs and half a pound of tupenny rice are hitching up their skirts and dancing a gig. Stranger is embracing stranger in joyous knee-tremblers in shop doorways.
Those Brussels suits have decided that forcing British traders to converse in their weird idiom of grams and kilos is bad for business. We never gave an inch. And we prevailed.
Neil Herron of the Metric Martyrs pressure groups calls it a “monumental victory”.
Indeed. And talking of monument we urge for the Government of this land to stand foursquare behind their traders and erect a stature to the Metric Martyr.
The spare plinth on one corner of Trafalgar Square lies empty, and what more fitting place than by the feet of Lord Horatio Nelson’s column (151 ft plus 18ft stone effigy) for a commemorative statue decorated with bronze lettuce leaves cast from British scales.
Half a yard, half a yard, half a yard onwards, dear reader, the battle is ours….
Posted: 9th, May 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
June 13th, 2007 at 12:50 am
half a litre also quenches your thirst. And honestly, “metric martyrs” is the most pathetic think I’ve heard from Britain since the battle for prawn-flavoured crisps.
I hope Brussels comes up with new regulations, so we continentals can keep on laughing our heads off over such side-splitting British issues.
Britons shall never be slaves.. (lol)
(By the way, I still admire you as a nation, but please drop the EU-aggro thing .. it’s becoming tedious, and you sound sooo Blighty! )
Greetings from Spain
May 24th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
A yard is a single step, what is a metre?
A pound of meat is enough for a family of four, what is a kilo?
A pint quenches your thirst, a litre is just bloody silly
May 9th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Once again a very British victory for the trivial over common sense.