Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle
BEFORE JADE Goody and Shilpa Shetty, Jodie Marsh was the celebrity victim of bullying on Celebrity Big Brother.
Sadly, Marsh is no Shetty and comes blessed with all the grace, poise and hue of last night’s chicken tiki massala. Jodie’s post-Big Brother career has not gone from strength to strength.
Jodie has not been kissed by Richard Gere, as Shilpa famously has. In fact, Jodie would be happy to be kissed by anyone. As the front page headline reads: “Jodie Marsh: I want to marry a Daily Sport reader.”
Chances are considerably high that many readers of the Daily Sport, with its diet of Orlaith McAllister’s arse and adverts for porn, are either a) married; b) adolescents too young to get married; c) unable to understand the question.
But not to worry, because Jodie is coming to get you. Wearing a belt, a pelmet and a veil, Jodie announces her plan to find a man.
“I’ve decided to do something completely outrageous,” says Jodie. Is she going to have anal sex with Orlaith McAllister? “I’m desperate to settle down with the man of my dreams, so I’m launching a nationwide search to find a husband.”
Far be it from us to dabble in affairs of the heart, but we suggest Jodie lend her quest an international bent and head to places like Russia, China and all other lands where men would dearly love to marry a British girl.
“If you think you’ve got what I want in a man, I’d really love to meet you in person at my open auditions,” says Jodie.
As is the way of such things, the auditions will be filmed and form the central plank in MTV’s Totally Jodie Marsh: Who’ll Take Her Up The Aisle?”
What form the auditions will take is not outlined, but expect to see men tested for how quickly they can varnish Jodie and any one of a number of itchy diseases…
Update: Is that orange colour the result of penicillin?
Posted: 17th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV Comments (177) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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October 21st, 2007 at 5:20 pm
[...] Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle | Anorak News … JADE Goody and Shilpa Shetty, Jodie Marsh was the celebrity victim of bullying … the central plank in MTV’s Totally Jodie Marsh: Who’ll Take Her Up The Aisle? … [...]
October 21st, 2007 at 11:05 am
[...] Taking Big Brother s Jodie Marsh Up The AisleAnorak - BEFORE JADE Goody and Shilpa Shetty, Jodie Marsh was the celebrity victim of bullying on Celebrity Big Brother. Sadly, Marsh is no Shetty and comes blessed with all the grace, poise and hue of last night s chicken tiki massala. Jodie s post-Big [...]
October 21st, 2007 at 2:47 am
[...] Taking Big Brother s Jodie Marsh Up The AisleAnorak - BEFORE JADE Goody and Shilpa Shetty, Jodie Marsh was the celebrity victim of bullying on Celebrity Big Brother. Sadly, Marsh is no Shetty and comes blessed with all the grace, poise and hue of last night s chicken tiki massala. Jodie s post-Big [...]
October 20th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
i feel bad for hating jodie sometimes, i read what she’s written and honestly think she could be really ill, maybe even suffering from bipolar.
i read up on it here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bi-polar, and she shows so many of the sympotoms. Really sad. Maybe all she needs is a good dose of symptahy and attention from her many friends around her.
October 4th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
[...] Week’s PicturesAnorak - BEFORE JADE Goody and Shilpa Shetty, Jodie Marsh was the celebrity victim of bullying on Celebrity Big Brother. Sadly, Marsh is no Shetty and comes blessed with all the grace, poise and hue of last night s chicken tiki massala. Jodie’s post-Big [...]
October 4th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
*sets Chester on Cleo and other haters*
October 4th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Quote by Rusty
You really want to be mods that much? I suggest you take a hard look at yourselves, if you can stomach it.
Rusty I think you meant to say “I suggest you take a hard look at yourselves in the mirror and say “I’m a load of old shit” like I do”
October 4th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
It had to come to this didn’t it? Well it stops here this afternoon!
You really want to be mods that much? I suggest you take a hard look at yourselves, if you can stomach it.
I’m off to post more pictures of my ultrasound for absolutely anybody to see (nice..)
Speaking of stomachs - ouch - just had a contraction!
October 4th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
This isa mya song, dedicated to ze very beautiful Rusty Hitchins no?
Her real namea be Teresa
But ona Mush she be Rusty
I imagine she very busty!
She makea me feel all ze lusty!
She be having other mans baby
She have affair with me maybe!
She be 31a year olda
I know cause I viewed hera folder!
October 4th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Go away Dr. Geraldine! I’ve taken my medication, and I’ve learned from past mistakes to always take it BEFORE I go on Mush for the day!
And yes! I love Pamela and Chantelle!
Gil Grissom! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!11 I luv u more!
October 4th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Is she crazy? I say, Yes! Yes! Yes!
Are these your new friends Cleo?
October 4th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Who is dis crazy biatch Cleo posting all this sh**! Is she sexy? No! No! No!
October 4th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Ooopsie! I added my name at t’end of that last message! I’m obviously getting confused thinking I was bombarding, sorry, sending PM’s on my beloved Mush!
October 4th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
No Chantelle! They were really mean and wouldn’t let me have the day off! And it was a Sunday too! Bullies! Oh well it’s their loss, I was the best worker evah!
Jo xxx
October 4th, 2007 at 8:10 am
OMG I see the thread has been hi-jacked by a freaky fame-hungry musher. So you had a birthday! Were you allowed the day off from … school dear? Or did the VJB’s refuse so you had to stamp your little feet and refuse to go again?
October 4th, 2007 at 1:25 am
You better believe it Pamela! OL has nothing on me and my sob stories! I could out-do her anyday! Gosh it’s late, oh well. Not like I have anything to get up for in t’mornin’! Mush is my life!
October 4th, 2007 at 1:22 am
Read your story, exclusively on Mush eh Cleo?!
October 4th, 2007 at 1:20 am
Shut up Pamela you moose! You have no idea what I’ve been through! I have no thumbs!
October 4th, 2007 at 1:18 am
Just a little work shy huh Cleo?!
October 4th, 2007 at 1:13 am
And just to add the first two letters of my name happen to match Jodie’s! That makes me hate her even more!
I wish there was a ‘who’s online’ section here! It helps me keep up snooping whilst I’m harassing folk to give me a job at t’bullring! I have a very impressive C.V!
October 4th, 2007 at 1:01 am
Only two men showed up? That’s well embarassing! I had more people post in my birthday thread on a message board that cannot be named as it involved Ms. Marsh! Well, a couple more than two people anyway! I’m still very popular! I’ve still got it! Yeah man! Shut Up! Grow Up! Who am I arguing with?!
August 31st, 2007 at 4:45 pm
A veritable Pig-In-Knickers
August 17th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
jodie luv,you should concentrate on the more positive things you do,like anti bullying and your work with animals,you cant go on forever trying to be a “celebrity”.like a lot of younger women youve been seduced by the myth of celebrity!im sure inderneath all the crassness etc theres a nice woman,so cmon,lets see the REAL jodie,not the frightful caricature
August 16th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
my god that woman is ugly!
August 14th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
[...] Brother - Big Brother’s Emily Parr On ‘Fat Niggers’ And ‘Pakis’ - Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle - Anorak TV And Big [...]
August 13th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
simon!!! you should go for it, you never know you might be what shes looking for.
yeh good luck to her in finding a bloke, she deserves a nice one xx
August 10th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
i have to say this programme is totally insane, as to find your true love.i really fancy jodie marsh and if i saw her in a pub, i would definately try at least to chat her up.but i would not like to be on a show like this, where people are just l;ike cattle.i am single 40 ish and even though i have thought for a second about it, would definately not go this way about it.well lets hope you can really find true love, and if you do find it, you can also hang on to it. there must be so many gold diggers and undesireables going for it, take care, and mind the ones with the shifty eyes.
August 8th, 2007 at 8:52 am
LE you slut, who exactly am i trying to be? by writing my opinion and giving my view on something? you dick. and could you please tell me which words i can not spell you retard. you probably wont find love again with your attitude you fucking moose.
alot of people will agree with me that Jodie is quite tragic and needs to change something in her life to make her happy and ask herself why she hasnt found a man yet when shes been through loads!!
August 7th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
For gods sake shut the fuck up, what a waste of time writing shit pretending to be someone your not..then again that sounds like most of you anyway!
It wouldnt be so obvious if you could actually spell! I hope Jodie meets her man, She deserves a good bloke and I wish her so much luck, its an amazing feeling being in love, I too hope to find that again myself! Good Luck Jodie!
Your amazing!
X
August 1st, 2007 at 1:38 pm
i dont think Jodies that bad. i think she looks alot nicer without so much make up and covering up a little bit she can look really nice. i think that she needs to step out of the public eye and keep her legs shut for abit cos shes seen as quite desperate but brings it all on herself. that bloke matt who came along to the interview in sheffield seemed a really decent bloke and she should just get with him and make a good go of being with him. i would!!
also she should listen to the people who are most important, her family. her (gorgeous) brother comes across as being quite harsh towards her but he makes alot of sense and is only looking out for her. she should definitely get out of the public eye cos she just gets slated and that cant be good for anyones self esteem. (deep breath) rant over!!