Paris Hilton Goes To Hell…Naked

“INSIDE Paris’ Prison hell!” No, not the Bastille but the Century Regional Detention Center.

Paris is in tears. Faced with 45 days in choky for violating her probation, the woman who didn’t think to get a mini cab account is dreading to prison. (The sentence has now been reduced to 23 days.)

Anorak has already revealed the life Pairs can expect to lead within the prison walls. She will be forced to get by one a low sodium diet (insert tasteless joke about women-only prisons here), a jump-suit, metal bed metal stool, metal mirror and 6-inch wide window.

One woman who has endured such hardship is Michelle Witzner. She spent an entire two weeks in the place following a conviction for identity theft.

Says Ms Angelina Aniston-Witzner: “A lot of the women have been there before. Some become lesbian couples, and what’s worse is when they come on to you.”

Sound not unlike being accosted by the Spice Girls, all that stroking and girl power…

“It’s not like a bunch of sweet girls; these are gang members, thieves, prostitutes, drug dealer and users.” Not to mention identity fraudsters and illegal drivers.

Mrs Laura Bush Witzner-Clinton, of Pennsylvania Avenue, goes on: “They’re angry, violent and unpredictable.”

On the contrary, they sound entirely predictable. “In my opinion, Paris will be lucky if she gets out of jail alive and in one piece,” says Witzner, who according to our researchers died in a motorcycle accident in 1961.

Things look grim for Paris.

And not too alluring for her co-villains. Upon arrival, the Enquirer says Hilton will be stripped naked “in front of other new inmates”.

Surely his is a violation of human rights. But at least the inmates forced to endure the undressed Paris will have a story to tell. Should they survive the experience…

Anorak

Posted: 17th, May 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink