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Anorak | Top Sporting Sex Scandals: Cristiano Ronaldo And John Terry Go To Pot

Top Sporting Sex Scandals: Cristiano Ronaldo And John Terry Go To Pot

by | 18th, May 2007

cristiano-ronaldo.jpgIN readiness for tomorrow’s FA Cup final, the Daily Sport pits Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo against Chelsea’s John Terry.

In this football smackdown the paper asks: “Who wins in the sack? We ask the girls who know.”

In the interests of fair play it might be best for Ronaldo to get into bed with Terry. But what need to push back the envelope of sporting endeavour when you have such willing and able pundits as Emma Kearney.

Said to have fronted TV show Nice House, Shame About The Garden, Kearney tells us how she gave Terry oral relief in his Porsche.

As the report says, Terry was so keen to have his way with the Australian glamour model he issued the rallying cry, “Let’s f***, I want to f*** you.”

Football fans cannot help but wonder what effect a similar call to arms would have on the Wembley turf if aimed at Ryan Giggs. And whether, if successful, England captain Terry should use the tactic in a national capacity.

For now, we hear of Terry scoring, and with a trademark headed goal.

But is he better than Ronaldo? To help us appraise the situation, Julie Hawkins arrives on the sofa.

Readers and Ronaldo’s Manchester United teammates learn how the player likes to have sex in the shower. Says Julie: “He scored a hatrick with me – and I’m not talking about goals.”

Impressive stuff, perhaps, But readers brought up on stories of five times a night romps may be disappointed by talk of triple plays.

Anorak recalls some sporting endeavours that make Ronaldo and Terry’s exploits look Championship material:

Steve Davis: Back in 1999, Snooker’s Mr Interesting cheated on his wife Judith with 19-year-old Cheree Palla. The talk was of seven-times-a-night. “He was the best lover I’d ever had,” she confided in the Mirror. “He did things to me I didn’t even know you could do.”

Ian Botham: Having denied breaking the bed with Miss Barbados Lindy Field, married Botham became entangled with Australian waitress Kylie Verrells. She claimed Beefy saw the value of email and wrote her: “Babe, you ain’t seen nothing yet! The mighty Beefy sword awaits … and that’s just for starters.”

Stan Collymore: Dogger. And friend to Kristy Gallagher: “She did things with chocolate fingers that have stopped me looking at them in the same way since.”

Sven Goran Eriksson: Emptying the dishwasher as foreplay. Cuban heels. Ulrika Jonsson (“There was no sense of hesitation about him, just a calm, gentle loving”). Faria Alam (“It was beautiful. He didn’t use a condom, he was not concerned about me getting pregnant. Then he pulled on some cotton pyjama bottoms before returning to bed.”)

Boris Becker: Nobu restaurant. A broom cupboard. Angela Ermakowa in the Mail: “To stop him when he was so excited was as impossible as stopping a high-speed train,’ she confided, exclusively, in the Daily Mail. “I felt like Cinderella… Boris was like a radiant German knight.” Boom. Boom.

In the pantheon of sporting kiss ‘n’ tells, Ronaldo and Terry and Emma and Julie hardly score…



Posted: 18th, May 2007 | In: Back pages Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink