Big Brother 8’s Sex Chimp
THIS year’s Big Brother will feature a…
Ok. To make it even more exciting, we’ll let the audience participate.
This year’s Big Brother will feature:
a) An orange bigot with nipples adapted to dispense curry sauce (left) and vodka and pineapple (right)
b) A chimpanzee called Armani
c) A bisexual nymphomaniac
They might all be correct answers. But the Star today sticks with the sensational news that Big Brother 8 will be populated by a twentysomething-year-old secretary who can’t get by without sex.
Readers may well recall last season’s Richard, who arrived under the banner the “Sexual Terrorist”.
On one level Richard was right: the idea of sex with the Canadian pedant was truly terrible. But on the other level– the idea that he would prowl the Big Brother rooms like an urban guerrilla, threatening to blow (up) everyone and everything in sight was overstated.
So what of this new sex addict? She is blonde. She claims to have slept with more than 200 lovers since her teens.
An insider tells us:
“Having a bisexual contestant who also happens to be a nympho is a double bonus because you’re definitely guaranteed some romps.
“With the show lasting three months, she is gonna be chasing the lads – and the lasses – every week. This girl has no inhibitions whatsoever.
“All wannabes are always asked: ‘Would you have sex on TV?’ And most of them say ‘Yes’, thinking this will guarantee them a place on the show.
“But in their heart of hearts they would never have nookie in front of millions of viewers.
“But producers can suss who is lying and with this woman they could see she would live up to expectations.
“She made no bones about the fact that she’d have sex on telly, or, indeed, anywhere.
“She even joked: ‘I’ll have it in the car park in front of Davina, if you want.’ So it looks like all the housemates are going to be in for a shock when she turns up.
“The girl is sex mad.”
Big Brother 8 promises to be quite some show. What with the binge drinking, the fighting and the sex, it will be like watching CCTV in better focus…
Posted: 19th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities Comments (6) | TrackBack | Permalink
