Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson And A Tuesday Night Out
“HOLLYWOOD EXPLODES.”
And the good news is that Hollywood explodes in a “FRENZY of… BOOZE! DRUGS!…and VIOLENCE!”
Who would have supposed that the bougainvillea-clad wonder of the Hollywood Hills would mutate into a British market town on a quiet Tuesday night?
But it seems to be so as David Hasselhoff stumbles into a pizza (drink), Paris Hilton tokes on a spliff (drugs) and someone called Andy Dick clenches his fists and lives up to his name (A. Dick).
As the Enquirer writes: “Hidden behind all the bright lights and glitter, modern-day Hollywood has degenerated into shocking cesspool of booze, drugs and violence.”
Over four pages of lurid text and pictures, readers wade through “FAST TIMES & HIGH CRIMES”.
The fun-lovin’ criminals stuck up for our perusal are Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and a rapper called Eve who slammed her gold car into the central reservation on Sunset Boulevard.
Top billing though goes to Lohan who has been pictured, apparently, snorting cocaine in a toilet.
Readers have every right to be shocked. Who knew that Lohan, one of Hollywood’s gilded youth, would take drugs in a toilet? Surely the VIP zones in LA clubs come equipped with silver spoons perched on the heads of ceremonial “Dopey Dwarves” left over from Time Bandits? The toilet is so very ordinary.
More frenzy follow: David Hasselhoff is still getting to grips with his American hot; Mel Gibson is pinched for drink driving; and actor Tom Sizemore has been caught in possession of crystal meth.
All interesting. All worthy of comment and debate. But in the cradle of what are routinely called the creative industries are we not disappointed at the lack of imagination?
These crimes are so very mundane – care accidents, the taking of mainstream drugs and drink driving.
Why has the Enquire not focused on Madame Heidi Fleiss and her talent book, OJ Simpson’s murders (of which he has in “only in America” fashion been proven both guilty and not-guilty), and the ongoing trial of Phil Spector who is charged with the murder of Lana Clarkson and wearing the Bee Gees’ old hair.
The Enquirer should revisit its section and marvel not at the state of Hollywood’s finest but why they are trapped in such a pattern of unexceptional behaviour…
Posted: 23rd, May 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
