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Anorak | OAPs Stolen: Lookout For Geriatrophiles

OAPs Stolen: Lookout For Geriatrophiles

by | 24th, May 2007

oaps.jpgWHAT do you call someone who hangs about old people’s homes?

Burglar? Maybe. But the tabloid press would certainly call them geriatrophiles.

Minds turn to this perversion in light of the Sun’s news that an elderly couple have been stolen.

The story begins as Stephen Hardy, 53, pops into a shop to buy provisions, specifically one chocolate bar.

Inside the car are dad Joe, 89, and mum Iris, 86. Neither are in the good health.

Stephen is gone but moment when a youth approaches the vehicle. He gets in. He starts the engine on the Citroen C5. He speeds off.

“I left the key in the ignition,” says Stephen, “but I was only gone for a moment.”

Has Stephen learned nothing? You can never be too careful. Geriatrophiles are everywhere, on every street corner, on every charabanc to Bognor.

The thief drives for about a mile. He steals Iris’s money. He dumps the car.

Says Stephen: “If I could just have a few minutes with that scumbag on my own.”

But that will not be allowed. A man has been arrested. And inquires are pending.

But this is surely a cautionary tale to one and all. Do not leave your OAPs unattended…



Posted: 24th, May 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink