The Ginger Pimpernel: Prince Harry Is Everywhere
IS that really Prince Harry on his own in a Bristol nightclub? (Pic: The Spine)
The Sun thinks so, inviting readers to observe “Harry no-mates” as he takes in the sights and smells of Bristol’s Syndicate nightspot.
An eyewitness tells us: “He didn’t leave until gone 3am. He was all alone from what I could see, apart from his three bodyguards. He was drinking a small Coke. I couldn’t tell if it was mixed with anything.
“He didn’t seem drunk compared to other photos I’ve seen of him when he’s out. In fact he was very well behaved.”
We review the evidence. We study the grainy pictures. And we begin to think. Whisper it – lest the enemy get wind – that this is not the real Harry.
Anorak’s plan to recruit a Ronald McDonald Army of Harrys is moving on apace. The Sun has played its part admirably, broadcasting pictures of ‘Harry’ – alone, sober, not sticking his hand down a girl’s top and not smoking a Cromwell Carrot. The unnamed witness plays the part of the royal observer, star-struck but kept at bay by three unnamed goons.
The Mail looks on as Harry’s unit heads to Iraq, led not by our copper-topped Spartacus but by a “stand-in junior commander”. Again the name is not supplied.
The Mail then further stirs the sands by saying how Harry could be deployed in Afghanistan.
Like a ginger pimpernel, Harry is now sought everywhere and by everyone. Will the Taliban in Afghanistan get him? Will Al-Qaeda in Iraq claim his scalp?
The plan is afoot. And on the order “Tally-ban!” the Army will to a man and woman don a ginger fright wig. The enemy will rush the ‘Harrys’, thereby showing themselves and making them easier to slaughter.
Harry will have won the day. And what’s more he will not have had to do any fighting. Or will he..?
Posted: 29th, May 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
