Ichea And Scratchea: Big Brother’s Charley Uchea..
BIG Brother is upon us and the Star’s front page zooms is on Charley Uchea.
Charley with a “Why?” is proud of her vital statistics, specifically her being related to Manchester United footballer Kieran Richardson, pneumatic breasts (two) and a habit of biting the hair from her fingers.
(Readers should note that said hair is believed to sprout from the back of Charley’s hands but these are early days in the polemic and we await developments.)
Charley is also a warning made so much flesh to ceremonial guardsmen as to what can occur if they clean their bearskins on a hot wash and over blow dry. Viewers have not seen hair like Charley’s since chimney sweeps were in their pomp.
This is Charley with a Why.
And the former lap-dancer is showing the world her “SECRET SEXY PICS” on the Star’s cover page. Look on as Charley bares her knickers-clad backside and pushes her breasts together in the manner of a Mediterranean farmer selling water melons at the roadside.
Sun readers get to see “Peek-a-boob” Charley as her twin fruits pop out of her gold top at a party for rapper P Diddy.
And hear an ex-lover say: “She was insatiable. One night we went to a party and ended up in the bedroom. She stripped and I took the camera out. She loved it.”
And: “She made it clear it was not an exclusive relationship. She wanted casual sex. She loved watching porn and acting out what was on screen. She’s going to make a hell of a ripple in the Big Brother house.”
Not a ripple, we’d suggest, more of a stain on the couch. Or an unsightly splash.
So much for Charley Uchea. Or Ichea…
Charley to win?Get your FREE bet here…
Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Big Brother TV Comments (55) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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February 12th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
….umm yer jus came across ur convo….y the hell cant ppl jus accept the way othas r … ok so som of u myt ryt properly all the time but some dnt, som ppl look, act, sound, different so cant you jus accept it!?!? Its not hard…cz in lyf ur gunna cum across loads of thing ur not familier wiv n if u cant deal wiv that, i dout ur get very far…jus fort i mention it. N lol mayb wen u wer 15 u wer playin wiv dolls :S wich i fink is a lil odd…but im 1/6f/england som wot proud, n i dnt play wiv dolls sry, also i dout the american girl does n the rest of teens.
October 31st, 2007 at 9:21 am
To the rob comment
by the way saying she looks like a monkey is rude or shall i say rascist and if ur gonna be cussing her about her colour ur wrong because shes mix race and theres no need to call her a slag and charley is pr33ty so ur just jealous and to stu ur a prick becuase theres no need to call other people a black cunt .thats why people are always argiung about words and skin colour..full stop
October 30th, 2007 at 9:17 am
this is a message to onions
i like charley because deep down when it comes to family and other things she is nice ,i think charley and fake because she tells the truth and she doesnt lie and i dont think she is imbarrising to black people .there is so many black people in the world and everyone one is diffrent .what do u expect her to be ,charley is mix race and u know , a lot of black people can be loud so. but its not fair if people are going oh i dont like her because balh blah and shes rude and so and so . but she wasnt the only one who was bein rude and loudmouth.
at the end of the day noone can be perfect understand.i just think charley wants her own freedom and wants to be herself .
August 7th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
People people people! why is there so much hatred, visciousness and petty mindedness out there?
I must say, I agree with most comments about Charley, namely that she is a disgrace. Not just to Black women, but to all women and indeed all of mankind. It is appalling that in this day and age, this is the sort of behaviour glamorised in the media and society. It ia all soooo WRONG.
However, after reading some of these comments, I urge you (who are probably decent and moral people, not to fall into the trap of name calling and slaying the ignorant. To all the adults out there, this only puts us in the same league as Charley!!!
On the other hand, i found myself glued to BB whilest Charley was in it. OOOHHH how i loved to hate her. How sick is that?
August 6th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
fuck off observer
August 6th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
bling bling sounds like a fookin knob too
August 6th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
i cant understand why people think charley is beautiful, i think she looks like ian brown off the unfinished monkey business album. one pug ugly slag
July 26th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Thanks bling bling, but I already have a scapegoat thank you.
Unfortunately, it has a crumpled up cabbage patch dolls face like Charlie Urchin, so I kick it every morning before I go to work.
July 26th, 2007 at 1:08 am
actually d only reason u all are comin on 2 me coz u want a scapegoat! and i aint scapegoatin 4 NOBODY!
AND YES I CAN WRITE IN PROPER ENGLISH. i obviously have to, to keep you all to date! cheeeeeeeesh! ~sign~
you all need to cool down before you blow up steams, i can not even believe you wasters are making such a big deal about my writings! GET A LIFE! ~roll eyes~
July 25th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Observer,
That’s an interseting conclusion you’ve come to. People call a cunt a cunt, and just because she is black, it’s because she’s a black cunt. That’s fallacious logic if ever I did see. My post was an observation of her personality, not her skin colour. Oh, I didn’t mention it at the time as I thought it was irrelevant, but I’m black myself.
Bling, Bling,
It may be quicker for you to type like that, but it means everyone else has to waste time deciphering your messages. Not everyone here speaks in teen text language, so it’s usually best to use a language everybody understands, like English. In addition to this, as you can see from the attention it has attracted, it makes you look stupid.
July 25th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I’m sorry
The number you have dialled has not been recognized.
Please grow up and try again.
fucking septics
July 25th, 2007 at 12:38 am
N 4 ONE TING I am american i only come here coz of d hurricane. if everytin iz built bac i will be out of here like a shot so GET UR FACT RYGHT!
July 25th, 2007 at 12:34 am
SHUT D FUCK UP U ASSLICKERS, 4 ur information i wasn’t born in diz god4sakin hole called England SO U ALL GET UR FACT RYGHT and i dont say i like charley but i dont hate her 2. but i do HATE CHANELLE basically coz she is fukin irritatin. and anoder ting d reasin i ryght diz way iz coz it iz faster SO HOW’ABOUT LEARNING SOME MANNERS N USIN UR BRAINZ B4 SLAGGIN PPL OFF COZ U AINT NO BETTER. IF U CANT READ WAT I WROTE DEN U R PROBABLY D DUMBEST PERSON COZ U CANT USE UR OWN LOGIC BRAIN 2 FIGURE IT OUT! SO U’ALL CAN KISS MY BLACK ASS. OH N AGAIN CHANELLE SUCKS! n so does Ziggy!
n another ting 4 SARAH how about preachin ur words 2 some1 dat cares coz 4 all we knw u didnt even have a barbie doll 2 play wit wen u were young! n anoder ting GRANDMA we teenagers have move on 4rm playin wit dolls n we actually use our brains 2 knw how to act if some man want 2 shit us up! unlike CHANELLE! so go preach ur old age words 2 some of ur oder shitty old grandma shitters!
ANNNNNND 4 ANODER ting U ALL WANT 2 SLAG ME OFF COZ U KNW I AM RYGHT! GO ON ADMIT IT U FUKIN SKIDMARKS. I dont insult noone if dey dont insult me yh!
July 24th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Observer. Am I right in assuming that you’re accusing every one who has slated charley as been racist? I haven’t seen any racist comments made above. I can’t speak for anyone else because I don’t know their personal beliefs, but I for one am not racist and I completely resent the implication. You’ve joined in a conversation where people are venting their anger at the antics of a fucking idiot and trying to turn it into something that’s racially motivated. If everyone is picking on her because of her colour do you not think that the wonderful Brian would be coming in for the same treatment? Take a proper look before you add your opinion and realise that even if she were white she would still be getting abused simply because she’s an unlikeable, rancid, poisonous , ignorant, vile piece of shite. …And ugly.
Rockstar - loving the ’stable’ quote. I’ll have to remember that.
July 24th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Message for Bling Bling! U only like Charley coz she’s probably like u, ur just trying 2 make urself feel good by condoning all her actions! wake up and read the rest of these comments u stupid bitch! Ur 15 years old shouldnt u still b playing with Barbies or summot?? U mouth off to us yet put u on the spot u’d probably shit urself n go running to mummy n daddy! do us all a favour n fuck off!
Rockstar, ur right!
July 24th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Most of these comments confirm the feeling I had that most of the hatred people have for Charley is racial hatred, which is clearly alive and thriving in the UK today. I’ve seen white person after white person line up to slate Charley the scapegoat on TV, so-called ‘celebrities’. Thanks you guys for confirming my suspicions.
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
This is a message for “Bling Bling” are you educated? my 4 year old cousin writes better than you! You are an imbesile and you are what is wrong with the UK today. Fuck off back to where you came from and take that materialistic slut Charlie with you since you idolise her so much. And if you were actually born in the UK and not an immigrant then lets just say ” if a dog is born in a stable, it dosent make it a horse” now fuck off you illiterate swine.
July 22nd, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Bling bling, wow. What?
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Did you go to school or did you learn English from text messaging? Even Bryan seems more intelligent than you. You need help kid. “d only ting d same iz” oh my fucking lord, sort it out or turn emo and leave the rest of us in peace. I’ll put 20 quid on it you spend your life doing one of the following:-
Scammming Dole
Stacking shelves
Car Park attendant
Traffic warden
Litter picker
Good on ya.
RE: Charley
Siddney hits the nail on the head. This girl is the most atrocious product of Western society i’ve ever seen, on par with Paris Hilton. She’s the twat everyone loves to hate.
July 22nd, 2007 at 12:40 am
i want 2 like charley bcoz she brings entertainment 2 d houze but it is getting difficult by d minute since she pick/argue on every lil ting dat does not matter and SHE WONT SHUT UP AND LISTEN and kip interupting everyone and lies between her teeth and she even beleive the shit said - bout meetin a-list stars n all dat bulls. but i also hate chanelle bcoz she brings shame 2 every woman and canot pluck d courage up 2 dump ziggy instead of the oder way round and stick wit it and not start beggin im 2 com bac and she beleive she is Victoria Beckham- ASSHOLE SHE IS NOT EVEN CLOSE! first her face is much more wider dan victoria and her voice eeeeeeewwww! d only ting d same iz their hair N NOTIN ELSE!
July 21st, 2007 at 9:04 pm
all these comments about charley what r u people doing i wouldnt euen waste the comment on her
July 21st, 2007 at 12:10 am
This bitch is one absolute twat. This is one real piece of shit, a boil on the backside of society that should be lanced immediately. It contributes nothing positive to anything and is a waste of oxygen. A real advert for everyting that is wrong with this country, it’s thick, lazy and obnoxious. It’s got the full works when it comes to undesirable traits. Had it been born a century or two ago, I’m sure it would not of enjoyed many years of adult life with that attitude.
You can try and see the good in everyone, but it’s just not there in this case. The only positive thing that comes to mind in the case of Charley Uchea is that it is mortal.
It should be tarred and feathered upon leaving the Big Brother house.
July 20th, 2007 at 1:02 am
eewwww, i hate her a bit more now. im watching the live show and shes talking shit as usual. she talks so fast i need freakin subtitles.
July 20th, 2007 at 1:00 am
oh my freakin god. could i hate charlie any more?
why does she look in the mirror at herself whilst shes talking?
why does she chew her hairy fingers?
why does everything she say begin with ‘I’ or ‘i;m. ?
why does she always say’dya know what i mean though? ‘
why does she screw her face up when she walks?
why does she only wear knickers?
why does she always turn the conversation round to herself?
why does she talk so fast ?
why is she so self obsessed?
why does she namedrop?
the girl is a fucking waste of air!! who the fucking hell does she think she is? i cannot believe the tenacity of her..shes such a self important moron! she really does believe that shes a super hot- A list celebrity and we should all look up to her..
as chanelle said tobnight… fuch her shes just a stupid piece of shit!
by us all hating charlie shes getting the attention she so badly craves..because deep down she knows shes just a inseure, pathetic nobody. and by slagging everybody of shes making herself feel better!!
pathetic.!!
most hated people ever….
1. hitler
2. saddam hussein
3. robert mugabe
4. charlie uchea
5. osama bin laden
6. saskia howard clarke
7. the devil
we all fucking hate the skanky , insecure foul mouthed piece of shit.
body off baywatch, face off crimewatcg charlie!
eeeuuuww.. i feel sick.
July 19th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
You’re so right bling bling or can i call you bling? I am extremely bitter that I’ve grown up without having to start arguments over absolutely fuck all.I’m also bitter that i’ve had to work all my life to earn a modest wage. I’m also bitter that I still have friends who have stuck by me through thick & thin & who trust me implicitly. I’m really bitter that I can’t stop being sarcastic. I’m pretty sure there are many people out there like yourself who look up to someone as malicious & nasty as south london’s self titled (sh)it girl, who think it’s ok to tear someone to shreds just because they’re different from her and let’s be honest, thankfully their aren’t that many who are like her. But my main point from the beginning has been that ‘The Thing’ is going to get older a very lonely person/animal/vegetable and it will be all its own fault. The only reason it’s still in the house is because it brings in viewers for Channel 4 and they have done everything in their power to make sure she doesn’t go - cancelling Billi’s votes, the fake eviction - just to squeeze out an extra week of ratings and advertising revenue.All they’re doing is making her look worse & worse the longer it drags on. On the plus side though, by doing this they’re ensuring that as the most despised person in the country next to Gordon Brown, she has no future here. Not that she did anyway. Hopefully she’ll fade away as soon as she goes next week and fuck off out of the country and we won’t be subjected to her self centred, bitchy & irrelevant points of view. I hear Afghanistan is quite nice this time of year.
p.s. this website might be of some use to you
http://www.learnenglish.org .uk
July 18th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
i dont hate gerry but he is gettin a bit big headed now and since charley iz gettin less argumentative he is gettin into more argument especially wit nicky. he iz also getting very anoyin now.
July 18th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Besides i tink ziggy have a ting wit charley. even though he does not care very much 4 charley as he does 2 chanelle (but he is startin 2 get irritated by chanelle babish behavoiur) but u will notice dat most of d tyme he is always lookin at charley. and he cant help it sometyme and he actually find charley 2 be a very good person 2 talk 2 especially wen he feels incredibly irritated by channelle.
July 18th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
CHANELLE 2 GO. WHINING TWO FACE COW UGLY WEAK ASSWIPE. Ziggy will drop and take her wenever he feels like it. she has no brain and tink charley iz her enemy and dat ziggy and charley are having it on 2gether. she lies and always act like a baby. MY GOD does she irritate the hell out of me! aaaaaaaaaah. she needs 2 grow up. she is 19 for cryin out loud. i am 15 and i dont whine and hold grudges like her and i have common sense. she needs 2 have more faith in herself and stop beleive dat charley likes ziggy and will take ziggy away from her. FACE IT GURL ZIGGY IS NOT URS 2 START WIT HE IS A PLAYBOY AND CAN DO WATEVER HE WANT, IDOITA!
July 18th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
u guys r all BITTER let me tell u somtin EVERY1 HAVE A EGO and so does charley. i tink it iz bcoz she was bully in scool n she feel she need 2 defend herself all d tyme. so now she is now used 2 always defendin herself and cant seem 2 stop. beside ALL OF U r GOSSIPIN EGOMANIA COWS coz none of u here will tell me dat u wont stand up 4 urself if some1 tries 2 have one on u. i knw charley argue in every lil tiny thing but she argue 2 ppl dat deserve it and ppl dat i hate. she tink 2 mch of herself 2 b popular but she can be kind.
July 17th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
id rather have a bowl of coco pops!
July 17th, 2007 at 1:20 am
I think Charley is a manipulative bitch! who the hell does she think she is? South-east London IT girl she is not! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she makes me wanna scream she needs to go before i go down there n kick her ass!!!! Get it into ur thick ed Charley that no one likes u coz ur a lying, self centred cow!!!!
July 16th, 2007 at 4:47 am
Ok she isn’t perfect, but I doubt the best script writers and actors couldn’t produce a character as entertaining as she is naturally.