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Big Brother’s ‘Ziggy’ Zac Lichman Squats With the Apes

by | 4th, June 2007

big-brother-zac-and-carole.jpgZiggy, il s’appelle ziggy
Je suis folle de lui

THE Mirror’s front-page introduces readers to “King Ziggy…before he was Biggy”.

There’s a picture of Big Brother’s Zac Lichman when he appeared in a school play.

The name of the show is not reported, but if pushed we’d say it was the school nativity and Zac is bringing the new-born bay-bee Jesus a golden handycam to record his life on. For it is written.

And who knew back then that Zac would go on to sing in the boy band Northern Line, a group named after the London Underground train line known locally as the “Misery Line”?

But Zac managed to cheer up a few hapless travellers. A source tells us Zac “slept with hundreds of women, he has had loads of orgies with fans”.

And this brought him into direct action with homemade porn star Abi Titmuss, reality TV singer and Darren Day ex Suzanne Shaw and Natasha Hamilton, who once sang with the band Atomic Kitten.

And now Ziggy is in the house, the only male among 11 women. Tony Parsons, writing in the Mirror, says Ziggy’s arrival is up there with David Attenborough squatting with the apes.

After this slight on Charley, her pelt and her housemates, Parsons says Ziggy’s appearance is in the “same league as the Sex Pistols swearing at Bill Grundy. It was the funeral of Churchill and David Bowie on Top of The Pops. And Simon fitting his phallic trampoline legs on The Apprentice rolled into one.”

Parsons recognises that TV is TV whatever the subject matter. The viewing experience is the same whether we are watching a state occasion or a reality TV show. TV homogenises all it broadcasts.

So Ziggy is Winston Churchill, dressed in a blonde wig, goaded by the stuffed shirt into doing something outrageous and miming to a song on the telly.

He’s made for TV…

Ziggy, il s’appelle ziggy
Je suis folle de lui
C’est un garçon pas comme les autres



Posted: 4th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities Comments (10) | TrackBack | Permalink