Really though, I don’t wish this to many people, but I hope he’ll be jobless forever - or better be put away in an institution somewhere. If Paris Hilton can be put to jail for driving under the influence, he should be put away forever for driving whilst being in a trauma about his pants - I am sure if it really was THAT traumatic, he must have felt like a drunk Paris Hilton times a million! So that would be Paris’ sentence of 45 days times a million times however many cars he must have rented (for $15k?!?!?)… fight fire with fire: Use his weird logic!!!

June 14, 2007

Judge Roy Pearson’s Ex Files Suit Against Him Claiming World Was Never “Rocked”

In a cruel twist of fate Roy Pearson, the man who filed a $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner who lost his pants, now finds himself on the defensive. Pearson’s former girlfriend Melissa DeLoach has filed suit against him for failing to live up to his own lofty guarantees of coital performance.

“Quite frankly, my client feels duped,” said DeLoach’s attorney, J.D. Shuttelworth. “There were certain copulatory promises that were made by Mr. Pearson that simply never materialized. This breech of oral contract, so to speak, has left my client distraught. Compensation is in order.”

That compensation, $75 billion dollars, is to defray the pain and suffering that DeLoach claims never came into being as a result of Pearson’s lackadaisical effort.

The suit makes the following contentions:

* Although he did get slightly “jiggy-wid” Ms. DeLoach , Mr. Pearson never in fact “rocked her world.”
* Despite Mr. Pearson’s repeated claims to the contrary, Ms. DeLoach was never able to see her deity during intercourse.
* Mr. Pearson made repeated, mockingly rhetorical questions that insinuated that Ms. DeLoach does not know who her father is.

I must say, with the utmost sincerity, that it is cases like these that cause me to be embarrassed about my country. Its no wonder why we have people scraping up pennies to make ends meet. We have become a society of “instant gratification” where we’ll do anything to get “what we want” and it has to happen “now”! Instead of working hard for years, as our parents once did, we want, what took our parents 40 years to obtain, today. The sense of entitlement that many people in our society show sickens me at times. I may be only 36 years old and compared to people who have survived the depression, world wars, and the lot, I may not be as exposed to the “elements” as some, but I can certainly appreciate a hard days work. and the fact that it can take YEARS to get what you want in life. Of course our own government doesn’t even live by those standards.

Oh well….I am off to the laundromat to claim my fortune!

What a joke……..

However, I think it’s good that Judge Bartnoff is allowing this case to go forward. For one thing, it helps stop this guy from trying to weasel around and sue them again, which from crazy behavior he showed during the ruling in his own divorce, he’s apt to try.

The other good thing about letting this case continue is that Judge Bartnoff seems to be doing a great job of keeping things on track, but giving Pearson just enough rope to hang himself with. I think one of her goals is to showcase his crazy behavior to her peers, which will likely result in him losing his reappointment, and all this media on the trial will ultimately result in staining his reputation enough in the public eye that he won’t be hired by any respectable law agency again.