Cornish Nationalists Want To Bomb Jamie Oliver And Rick Stein

PY eur yw hi, mate?

You consult Henry Jenner’s Handbook of the Cornish Language. You smile and walk away. Seconds later your holiday home is ablaze. The Cornish National Liberation Army has spoken. The time is for you, Rick Stein and Jamie Oliver to get out of town.

In “the Cornish nasties”, the Express reads a message emailed by the CNLA to its members.

“One of our activist was a member of the Free Wales Army who were responsible for burning of English holiday homes in that country, creating for the imperialists another ‘rosy glow’ from the heat of the fires.

“At an unspecified date, Rick Stein will himself feel a ‘rosy glow’ in our Cornish port of Padstow.” This is a corruption of TV chef Stein’s comment that locals have benefited from the “rosy glow” of publicity his shows and restaurants have generated.

The threat seems serious. British police would so well to create buffer zone along the Devon–Cornwall border.

The email was sent via a website based in Egypt. The threat that the CNLA will be backed by Islamic fundamentalists and create a rogue state cannot be overlooked.

The CNLA, as the Sun reports, is an amalgamated body comprising the Cornish Liberation Army and An Gof, Cornish for blacksmith. It should not be confused with the Liberation Army of Cornwall, Mrs Anne Goff or 19 Acacia Avenue, Truro, Mebyon Kernow (”Sons of Cornwall”) nor the Liberal Democrats which represent the people in Parliament and are generally believed to favour appeasement over armed conflict.

Stein should look out. So too Jamie Oliver, who is labelled “another incomer who has caused the inflation of houses and other living costs at Cornish expense.”

A spokesman for Oliver, who operates a restaurant in the region, says: “We are very surprised and disappointed by the statement because every thing about us is Cornish.”

But what is Cornish? There is no stereotype to call upon. Perhaps this is what irks the CNLA, whose bemoaning of rising property prices suggests a group of working class stock, members of the white working class that, as Anorak’s Ed Barrett writes, has neither political power nor cultural cachet.

Rather than protesting, they should perhaps, set about affirming their identity. Which, if a recent visit to Truro is any guide, presently consists of talking in Estuary English and pretending to be Cockney.

Much like Jamie Oliver…

Anorak

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink