Bernard Manning Is Resting: Anti-PC Madness Gone Mad

BERNARD Manning is dead.

“RACIST IN PEACE,” says the Sun’s front page. “Scourge of PC brigade dead at 76.”

“I’m not racist,” says Manning from beyond the grave. “I slag everyone off.”

He was an “unfunny bigot,” says the Sun’s Anila Baig, the paper’s resident Asian female who stands in for every ethnic group, the Sun’s enlightened credentials and sound mind made flesh and blood. No non-white, non-Christian, non working class person would ever tell a racist, sexist gag. And certainly not one who works at the Sun. Says Baig grandly: “I for one won’t be grieving over the passing of Manning’s bigoted sense of humour.”

At which point we should discuss the 500lb elephant in the room, or the body of the 300lb Manchester City fan who said than when he’s cremated, they’ll have “to scatter six tons of lard”.

“I had a distant German relative who died at Auschwitz. He fell out of one of the watchtowers.”

Manning, a descendant of Jewish immigrants from Sevastopol, told the jokes and people wept with laughter. “To me there’s nothing amusing about picking on people because of their colour or sex,” continues Baig. “You never take a joke seriously,” said Manning. “We have to tell jokes about everything and everyone.”

Make something a taboo and wait until the new wave of edgy comedians come along to shock and amaze by saying the unsayable. Watch ‘em roll in the aisles.

The Times’ obituary surmises Manning’s career: “Comedian whose brutal disregard for ‘normal’ sensibilities fell out of fashion but remained popular on the club circuit.”

I’ll never forget the day I took my own mother-in-law to the Chamber of Horrors in Madame Tussauds. Suddenly, one of the attendants whispered to me: “Please keep her moving. We’re trying to do a stock take.”

In short, Manning stopped appearing on the television but people still paid to watch him. Whereas the alternative comedians, who replaced Manning’s type, routinely appear on TV – talking about restoring buildings and saving animals or, god help us, acting. They would be booed out of any club that didn’t state the word “COMEDY” on the door lest people mistake it for a social services focus group.

A Manning joke:

Man says to his wife: Pack your bags, I’ve won the pools.
She says: What should I pack? Something light, something warm? Where are we going?
He says: We’re going nowhere. Just pack your bags and fuck off.

Manning wrote his own obituary. Read it in the Mail. It’s anti-PC madness gone mad!

Anorak

Posted: 19th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink