When John Terry Went Up Without A Pre-nup, We (And Lionel Richie) Were There…

“ENGLAND CAPTAIN JOHN TERRY MARRIES TONI POOLE – WORLD EXCLUSIVE.”

It is. Anorak has searched and can find no other instance of an England captain called John Tarry marrying a woman called Toni Poole, or Toni anything.

As ever, OK! has the scoop. And we journey “INSIDE THEIR SECRET PALACE WEDDING.”

It’s hard to find the do but once you’re there the thing stretches on for ever, the full fifty-page photospread with footballers in all direction, orange-skinned bridesmaids and shoes as shiny as their teeth.

For this auspicious occasion, Terry wears a strip of gold jacket and a white tie tethered in a generous footballer’s knot. Toni, mother to the couple’s children Georgie and the descriptive Summer Rose, is shimmering in gold (dress) and bronze (skin).
We join the action in the early minutes, as Terry takes control of the aisle, keeping in a neat formation with his three best men.

At the end, he is met by two young children. As is the way with all the great sporting ceremonies, England’s captain greets them as if they are his own.

At 4:10 a hushed silence falls upon the crowd and playing area. There are “gasps of admiration”. The strains of “Lovin’ You” are hymned. Toni’s trailing a bouquet of Vandalla and Savita roses, “interspersed with Majolika roses and Lily of the Valley”.

The coin is tossed. Toni’s father Alan calls. The couple turn to face each other. John goes first. They make vows. They exchange rings. They autograph the marriage certificate. The crowd bursts into a rendition of Blue Is The Colour and “When John went up without a pre-nup, we were there, we were there”.

And so to the banquet. “Laydeesandgentalmen, please welcome Mr and Mrs Johhhn T-erryyyyyyyyyy.”

“Wild applause” erupts in the function room at Blenheim Palace. The couple sit at the top table, silver-topped and dressed with a “circus of flowing white orchids”.

There’s is prawn cocktail, fish ‘n’ chips and carbonated fruit-based drinks for the ladies and pie ‘n’ mash for the gentlemen and players, accompanied by a unisex baked bean cake and mushy pea cakes.

And it’s on with the show as the curtain falls to reveal Lionel Richie. The legend sings. The crowd, as has been reported elsewhere, but not by OK!, joins in by chanting. Lionel sings Hello! and makes a joke about celebrity magazines. OK! either can’t hear Richie above the roar of the crowd or thinks the joke risque and unsuited to a footballer’s wedding.

“You are the happiest couple I have ever seen in my life,” says Lionel back on script. “You can tell this is a footballer’s wedding, because I’m up here dripping in sweat and there isn’t a single drop on John or any of you guys for that matter!”

This is not Lionel taking the rise out of Terry for his dancing. People are moving. A man called Ian Wiles, dressed in a purple suit, is doing the electric boogaloo on a mirrored dance floor.

And John Terry and his new wife are tripping the light fantastic, taking to the stage for their first dance. The name of the tune? Hello!…

Anorak

Posted: 21st, June 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink