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Anorak | Madonna Does Preach At Live Earth

Madonna Does Preach At Live Earth

by | 9th, July 2007

blairs-small.jpgHAD only Princess Diana been around to enliven Live Earth, music fans wouldn’t have had to endure Madonna coercing every “motherfucker” to watch their telly, buy her album and save the planet. (Spinal Tap Pic: The Spine)
Madonna is not a hypocrite, creating no little static in her skin tight Spandex suit and proving that wind and so much hot air can power an entire stadium.

“If you want to save the planet, let me see you jump,” says Madonna. So we jump and over in Greenland the vibration cause a lump of ice to works itself loose. There’s a mudslide in Bolivia. The Wembley groundsman winces. This is joined-up geography. No-one is safe from climate change.

And certainly not Madonna’s staff. In “Madonna’s bizarre look-at-me order”, the Mirror sees pop’s Gaia address her minions.

They are instructed to maintain eye contact with Madonna “at all times”, no small thing as Madge bends over and dry humps a stereo.

Interviewers should “never look down or check notes – all questions must be memorised or the interview will be terminated”.

This is easy. The Mirror’s 3am Girls laugh at such challenges, having got their questions – “Wow?”; “Amazing?; and “Congratulations, that was brilliant, you must be happy?” committed to memory.

Presenters were ordered not to ask about Madonna’s husband Guy Ritchie, her religious beliefs and her adopted son David Banda Twist.

All questions had to be about Live Earth. Such as: Do they have television in Malawi? Can you and Guy’s collaboration Swept Away be seen as an instructional video for when the world drowns? Can red string stop global warming?

Is the global warming diet for everyone?



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