Times Square Church Gets Bums On Washlet Seats

“Get Your Asses off My Church.”

That’s the message New York Pastor Neil Rhodes is sending to advertisers who want to wrap a gigantic billboard for a souped up bidet around the Times Square building that houses his church.

“You walk into a church building, you have naked bodies before your eyes - how are you going to close your eyes and seek God?” the Rev. Rhodes asked the New York Post.

Instead the 8,000 congregants of Times Square Church will close their eyes to a vision of the Washlet, a bidet-toilet seat that cleans and dries using warm water and air.

To prove just how gratifying the Washlet is, the proposed advert features photographs of naked bottoms with smiley faces painted across their buttocks.

A few decades ago, during Times Square’s seedier heyday, churchgoers would have seen a lot worse than happy bottoms.

Nevertheless, the interdenominational church applied to a state court last week to block the advertisement, which was slated to go up for 30 days starting July 1. Yesterday, State Supreme Court Justice Marcy Friedman temporarily barred the bottoms.

But the Justice also ordered the church to post a $90,000 bond in case it was later proven that the church was not entitled to an injunction.

“The court finds that the motion presents novel and significant issues on which further legal authority is required,” the judge said, implying that further research was necessary.

The church is suing its landlord, the firm that owns the billboard, and advertising company Van Wagner.

Adam Silverstein, a lawyer for Van Wagner, told the Post that the advert was a perfect fit for the area: “This is Times Square. It’s the billboard capital of the world, and it’s home to the most sensational advertisements in the universe…What’s the next sign the church is going to be seeking an injunction against?”

Anorak

Posted: 10th, July 2007 | In: Anorak In New York Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink