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Big Brother Charley Uchea’s Reading Matter

by | 18th, July 2007

charley-uchea-big-brother.jpgBIG Brother’s preordained winner Charley Uchea has been a revelation, offering an instant explanation as to why lapdancing clubs are so dimly lit and why men who visit them to talk to the girls are liars.

Only a student pyschoanalyst or the Daily Sport would pay to converse with Charley.

But such is that lighting that they come to see her dance. So Charley dances. She licks her lips. She flashes her boobs.

Before her sits not a disparate group of housemates, each wondering what they are missing on the telly and if they should take one or two bottle into the shower. She is not dancing for a Priapic teen on a trip to the West End nor a braying middle manager keen to show his manliness and power with a warm fiver. Before Charley sits an “ENGLAND STAR”.

No, not Wayne Rooney; Charley’s not that old. And not David Beckham. He is a loyal family man and has eyes only for Her Poshness. Before Charley is “premiership ace Leroy Lita”.

Yes, him. Lita plays for Reading, it says here. He also, apparently, plays for England, but at what the Star is unspecific.

And Lita is up for it, so much so that when the Star goes to confront him with news that his meeting with Charley has been captured on camera he squirts photographer Wayne Starr with baby oil.

Everyone’s fair game to these sexed-up players. But the photographer is not dancing. And Lita is not talking with him over a £150 glass of champagne.

“He won’t be making any comment on this nor will the club,” says a spokesman for Spearmint Reading.

If you want to talk you have to pay first. And watch the show…



Posted: 18th, July 2007 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink