David Beckham’s Strings Suri Along
IT was the untapped market waiting to be prized open. But now David Beckham promises to conquer it. Laydees’n’gentalmen, we give you’re the Beckham shoelace. No, not Victoria Beckham. This is String‘Ems.
The Mail looks on as Beckham takes to the pitch for his LA Galaxy debut. Resplendent in box-fresh white shirt, shorts and socks, all with canary yellow trim and lacy blue piping, Beckham makes ready to unveil his new trick.
It is 78 minutes into the game. The crowd at the Home Depot Centre, a 27,000 full–house of which at least a dozen are not journalists or celebrities, have been softened up by Chelsea, good living and hype.
Beckham is on the pitch for 12 minutes. He touches the ball ten times. He makes one tackle, says the Times. The Mail spots 16 minutes and 19 seconds of play and 12 touches.
“It has been amazing,” says David in the Express (“It’s Hollywood united”). “It was nice to get out there and kick a soccer ball again.”
But it is not yet sensational. Before that, Beckham has to show us something new. The Mail looks on as Beckham bends over. Using a trademarked combination of right and left hand, Becks ties his shoelaces.
The Mail hears a “wild cheer of relief”. Longoria, Schwarzenegger, Winstone, Holmes and Cruise are wowed. Brooklyn grins at Suri. Suri looks deep into her eyes. What is she thinking? Tell us.
And the crowd go home with joy in their hearts and an urge to buy the String’Em - works with boots and shoes. Use it as a hair band. Also available in red for Kabbalah enthusiasts.
Go Beckham! Get them while he’s still hot…
Posted: 23rd, July 2007 | In: Back pages Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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July 25th, 2007 at 12:35 am
Oh, yeah, nearly forgot - and we’ve also got Brooklyn, Romeo and, er, whatsisname too - oh, thanks again princess, yeah Cruz, that’s it!
Aint arf ‘ot ‘ere innit luv. Never mind, we’ll ‘ave all them thousands of dollars won’t we luv? Oh, yeah, sorry - I meant millions! Don’t be like that princess ….. you know I’m no good at sums. Can I ‘ave me pocket money now please luv?
July 25th, 2007 at 12:26 am
Don’t worry princess, they can’t hurt us. I’ve got you, and you’ve got me, and we’ve got, er, each other. Oh, and we’ve got Tom and Katie too! That’s nice.
This spam thing. 3 + 9 is, er, is - oh, thanks princess, yeah 12 that’s it!
July 24th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
It passed Jupiter this morning
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:10 pm
Has Beckham’s penalty from Euro 2004 come down yet?
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Sorry guys I’ll give my son a good talking too next time I see him. The trouble is after 3 years in the US he is now ardent American football fan so perhaps we should cut him some slack for the blasphemous use of the term soccer.
I wonder if I can get him deprogrammed on the NHS when he gets back?
July 23rd, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Soccer would be better if they made the playing field 1/2 the size. and allowed clubs maybe cricket bats and a smaller ball in play at the same time as the regulation ball that you could only use the bat on. Maybe then people would watch the game instead of using it as an excuse to get drunk. Soccer is boring . By the way whats a Beck Ham some sort of pig?
July 23rd, 2007 at 5:15 pm
And furthermore…
I know Brooklyn is only 8 but he probably plays better than at least half of the LA Galaxy. Sign the lad up!
Plus… here in Wisconsin, as of this morning, no one cares.
July 23rd, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Any room in there for extra screamers?
Suri is thinking… “What is it your dad does again? We’re watching what now?”
Or.. “I may not understand what’s going on here but at least your dad is not a demented midget with strange taste in religions”
Or… “This maybe a strange game but at least it wasn’t invented by a second rate science fiction writer.” Brooklyn replies.. “Oh I dont know, have you ever seen QPR play?”
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Soccer… I am now going into a small room to scream
July 23rd, 2007 at 12:55 pm
My son, a British subject and one time football fan, is studying at the University of Florida where he has been for the last 3 years. I rang him the other day and said “what do you thing of Posh and Becks moving to LA. He replied “have they? I didn’t know that! what have they done that for, nobody is interested in soccer here”.
Nuff said!
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:42 am
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