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Anorak | Bowsers Of War: Flooded Gloucester Blitzed By Yobs

Bowsers Of War: Flooded Gloucester Blitzed By Yobs

by | 27th, July 2007

3.jpg SO much for the Blitz spirit the media has been cheered by – unless we were looking at drowned Gloucester from the angle of a German bomber.

“POND LFE,” says the Sun’s front-page headline. “Mindless yobs” have poisoned emergency water supplies by “URINATING” into bowsers and tipping in “BLEACH”.

These thugs, described as “laughing” also “DRAINED” another mobile water tank in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire.

Says one “angry” local: Everyone keeps banging on about the community spirit in the country – but there isn’t any here.”

So the police have been called in to the guard the water. The situation is critical. Although, not that critical as we learn that the police are community support officers. Says one: “You don’t want anything from this one – some youngsters have pissed in it.”

The Mail listens. It senses the “echo of the war years as Red Cross sends in food.” Aviation Sans Frontieres is to fly in 80,000 litres of bottled water to a British airport. The water is to be despatched to the Island of Tewkesbury.

But what of the planes’ carbon footprint, you cry. Isn’t this disaster all down to global warming? And – irony of ironies – in saving the victims of the floods, aren’t the helpers worsening the problem?

Better, perhaps, to sacrifice the parched of Gloucester for the good of the planet. And when the waters subside, we should plant trees and name each after one of the fallen.

It will be a fitting tribute to British victims of weather to come…



Posted: 27th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink